Onward & Upward!

So I'm thinking about this upcoming week and what kind of goals I'd like to set for myself. I know I'd like to have a more motivated attitude this week, but it's not always something I can just conjure at will. But, as of right now I am feeling pretty confident that I will have the energy and motivation that I was lacking last week.

It's the start of the third week with the girls back in school; Mister X and I are feeling more adjusted to the daily routine and I think I'm ready to add something new to the daily routine for now; Preschool Time for Mister X!! No, he is not going to preschool!! But, he is almost four, and I think it would be good for him to spend at least 30 minutes a day with mommy, learning things like shapes, colors, numbers, and letters. He's a pretty smart little cookie and I think he will enjoy doing some "school stuff with mommy" each day. I already have some work books & stuff, I just want to get some ink for my printer so I can print off some stuff I might find online.

I want to stick to my daily cleaning routines and try to have my list done daily - I know if I stick with it and don't get distracted or lazy I can have it done by 1:00 every day. Also - it will help me if I do my Bedtime Routine every night, it means my cleaning the next day will already be started or caught up and in the long run it will save me time! This is also the FlyLady Habit of the Month for September so I'll be working on that all month till it becomes habit!!

FlyLady's Zone this week is back to Zone 1; The Front Porch, Front Entrance, and Dining Room. (for my Fellow FlyBabies you will understand what I am talking about next, for those of you who don't follow FlyLady just hang in there a second!!) So, I have come to realize that in Zone 1 I don't have any more decluttering to do. It's all decluttered! That means that (with this Zone at least) it's time to move on to DETAILING!! Not that I need a new project, but if I have the time & energy to take something on, FlyLady has a list of some Detail Cleaning Projects here; http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlightPlan.asp. It's a really neat feeling to be moving on to this stage. Although other parts of my home are still in the De-Cluttering phase, just moving on in this one area gives me such a sense of accomplishment!

So these are my main goals for the week;
To Spend 30 minutes a day doing Pre-School stuff with Mr. X
To Work on Detail Cleaning Zone 1
To do my daily routines & daily cleaning
To do my Bedtime Routine every night

I decided to draw a couple cards from The Housewives Tarot and see what Advice I have to carry me thru the week; Body, Mind & Spirit

I got;
Body -The Star
Mind - Ace of Swords
Spirit - Queen of Cups

Body (My Advice for the Physical realm) - The Star. Looks like when it comes to my physical being I am in the limelight and can celebrate my success. This card can also represent creative energy and inspiration from spiritual sources - I think in this case it is reminding me that my home & my body (my physical world) are things that I should take pride in and if I am creative and connected to my spirituality, will find the energy and inspiration I need to succeed.

Mind - (My Advice for the Mental Realm) - Ace of Swords - this card is the Epitome of Mental Force, it represents the will and drive of the mind to cut thru any confusion, get straight to the point, to discover the truth. It is the Strength to Overcome using the power of one's mind, logic, and truth. In other words, I CAN do whatever I set my mind to! I must not let things like emotion, doubt, fear, frustration, etc. get in the way of me being able to see the truth of the matter; which is my own willpower. I am reminded of what Louise L. Hay says; "All we are ever dealing with is thought, and thought can be changed!"

Spirit - (My Advice for the Spiritual Realm) Queen of Cups - this Queen is the Emotional, Feminine, Introspective matriarch of the suit of Cups; where all matters of the heart reside. While my advice for the mental realm is more about logic and the power of thought, I feel that this card is telling me that my Spirit needs and craves some emotional release, some introspection, and I must not neglect that side of myself as well. I think it will do me some good (as always) to make sure I take time for pampering, spirituality, and even a cocktail or two with a girlfriend this week, my Spirit needs the pampering and fun. But this card can also serve as a warning because while the Spirit has needs, this Queen is the type who will neglect her other obligations while she wallows in her emotions or obsesses over her feelings & romances.

2 of Swords - Kung Fu peace-of-mind

Last night we went to look at a potential house. Our realtor has been putting in offers left and right, and we are just hoping to not be outbid. We haven't gone to see every single house she has put an offer on - why get our hopes up? Instead we are waiting till an offer is accepted, then going to look at the house and see if we will take it or not. It's really exciting to hear that an offer has been accepted; we take the 40 minute drive thinking, praying, maybe this is the one! Alas, once again, a disappointment. It is rather small, two of the "Four" bedrooms are a combined room with a divider between them - you can hardly really call it one bedroom - much less two. The "Fourth Bedroom" is totally detached from the house, like they turned the storage shed into another room; this is not going to work for our young family of five! So we turned it down and drove back to our apartment.

For the most part, I am staying positive. I am just trying to trust that the right house for us will turn up, trusting that there is a divine plan and purpose behind everything. I'm not feeling super-motivated today, but I'm not feeling apathetic or "down" either. I'm just here, wondering how to go about my day. So I decided to draw a card.

Since I was already at my computer, I just went to Aeclectic Tarot to use their free electronic tarot reading section. While I don't always trust the electronic readings (there is something lost when you count only on card meanings and leave out the empathy and intuitiveness of an actual reader) - I have still found these electronic readings to be quite helpful from time to time.

Today I got the Two of Swords;

http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/project/4/02_swords.shtml

While the classic meaning of this card sometimes relates to some internal mental struggle, opposing views, conflicts, etc, I found the meanings given here to be more aligned to what I am feeling. Peace. Huh. That's interesting....yes. I DO feel at Peace. Strange. Just like on the card (shown at the above link) - I know that there my be struggles and challenges ahead. I will eventually have to draw a sword, cut thru the vines, and begin my trek across the mountains. But as for today - Stillness. Quiet. Peace. I know, in Truth, that our search for a house will continue... I feel that it may take longer than what we had hoped for, but it will be worth the wait. There is no need to bog myself down with worries about it at this time. But prepare myself.

With the classic version of this card, a woman is blindfolded and holding two swords crossed in front of her. She is armed and ready, but she is blindfolded. Does she know and trust that there is no immediate danger? Or are her other senses so acute, like a ninja or Kung-fu Master, that she does not need her eyes to know when it is time to act. Now that's stillness of mind. Check out the classic meaning of this card; http://www.learntarot.com/s2.htm. More specifically, just the first section of the list - denying true feelings, stifling a natural response, keeping another at arm's length, hiding distress, turning a deaf ear, being defensive, maintaining your cool. Now who does this make you think of?

I am also reminded of this conversation about meditation between a man and Kwai Chang Caine (David Carradine) in the t.v. series "Kung Fu";

KCC: (He is shooting a bow and arrow at a target, in the black of the night). I do not do archery for killing.

Man: What do you use it as?

KCC: A form of meditation.

Man: Meditation? What do you think about?

KCC: I think of nothing. But to be one with the target.

Man: You think I’m going to believe that? How can you see what you are shootin at in the dark?

KCC: Watch my eyes (He turns his eyes away before he shoots, and hits the target).

Man: How’d you do that?

KCC: I do not do it. It is not done.

Man: What do you mean ‘It’s not done?’

KCC: It is only experienced. It happens.

Man: Happens?

KCC: The pole (target), the arrow, the bow are one. Not many things. Not different things. One.

Man: Well, I see it. But I sure don’t understand it.

KCC: That is good.

Man: Why is it good?

KCC: It remains a puzzle. When you cease to strive to understand, then you will know without understanding.
(http://kungfu-guide.com/addendum/addendum_tlc.html)

So, Finding this peace and stillness of mind, this detachment from emotion in order to function efficiently and logically - it's not such a bad thing. I tend to think of "Emotional Detachment" as a negative thing - but in some cases, those emotions just turn into fears, and fears just hold you back. So, lastly, decided to pull out my trust Housewives Tarot, to see how I can apply this to my housewifely duties today around the house.

The Guidebook (by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum, Quirk publications) has this to say;

"Like Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws, life can be full of conflicts. As the blindfolded woman illustrates, it is important to remain impartial when stalemates occur. The Two of Swords reminds us that it is seemingly opposing tastes - like cranberry sauce and green bean casserole - that make life more delicious. After all, if no one wanted the dark meat, there wouldn't be enough light meat to go around."

Our housewife is getting ready to carve the turkey - blindfolded. She is trusting that it is cooked to perfection, and arming herself for the critique she knows will come from those in laws - whether it is cooked perfectly or not. In true Kung-Fu style, she knows that you can't please everyone; the only person you can truly look out for is yourself. And blindfolded, she can experience the carving of the turkey, trusting that it will happen as it is meant to happen.

Should or Could?

Time for some more soul-searching and bearing my soul open for all to see. I am journaling today from an excersize from the book; "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. I posted this as a Journaling excersize at "Journal Yourself Awake" - please come check it out! Even if you don't post your results publicly in a blog - try out this journaling excersize it is really amazing!

Should Or Could?

I Should.....
* I Should Have a cleaner house.
* I Should be 100% smoke-free by now.
* I Should be more patient with my kids.
* I should be more ambitious when it comes to work and money.
* I should spend my time more wisely.

Why Should I?
* Why should I have a cleaner house? Because my mom's house was always cleaner than this. Because I'm embarrassed and worried about what others would say. Because I should be more organized. (Look - another "Should"!)
* Why Should I be 100% smoke-free by now? Because it's been 32 days and I need to get serious about quitting smoking! Because I should have more self-control, I need to be more strict with myself! ( Look - another "Should" - and some self-punishing thoughts as well!)
* Why should I be more patient with my kids? If I lose my temper too often they will never trust me or love me. I should be a more loving mother. (In other words, I don't feel like I am a loving mother, and when I say "I Should be more patient with my kids", I am actually saying to myself, "I am not patient or loving enough, and I don't deserve their love.")
* Why should I be more ambitious when it comes to work and money? I am almost 30 I should be doing something with my life other than waitressing. I need to be making more money. (says who? I'm happy doing what I do, and being rich isn't a goal of mine - only being happy is!)
* Why should I be spending my time more wisely? Because life is short. I have so much to get done, and not enough time. ( those sound like answers based on fear, or words that ther people use)

If I really Wanted to I Could...
If I really wanted to I could have a cleaner house.
If I really wanted to I could be 100% smoke-free right now.
If I really wanted to I could be more patient with my kids.
If I really wanted to I could be more ambitious when it comes to work and money.
If I really wanted to I could spend my time more wisely.

.... wow... I feel better already!

Why haven't I?
*Why haven't I made my house cleaner? Well, actually, it's pretty clean. I'm sure there are places a lot worse than mine. It's crowded, and it's Lived In! My whole idea of needin it to be cleaner comes from fear of other's judgements. But if I just lesten to myself and not those other voices, It's not bad. It's healthy.
* Why haven't I completley quit smoking? Because I enjoy my 1 cigarette every night before bed. Because quitting cold-turkey hasn't worked for me in the past, I am trying something different. I am letting myself indulge and rather than punishing myself for it I am trying to learn more about my cravings and addiction, and go slowly. I know when Iam ready, I will be totally able to give up that 1 cig. a day. I am not failing, and I don't need to be punished.
* Why haven't I been more patient wth my kids? Because I need to learn better communcation skills. Because who can be patient with 3 crazy kids? Am I being too hard on myself? Perhaps it's just me being too hard on myself as a parent that is manifesting as problems with them!
* Why haven't I been more ambitious about work and money? Because I am happy doing what I do. Because I am afraid to try something different - afraid that I might fail.
* Why haven't I spent my time more wisely? Because I don't know how. Because I'm afraid there isn't enough time.

.... This was very revealing, and yes, very healing for me. Just recognizing my thought patterns and acknowledging them will help me to begin to change them from negative to positive. And I am going to stop using the word "Should" and replace it with the word "Could".. how about you?? Don't forget to check out the original post for some more insights on this concept and from the book! http://journalyourselfawake.blogspot.com/2009/08/should-or-could.html

Message in a Bottle

the Message in a Bottle Meme

This week Mimi Pencilskirt, Queen of Memes, asks us to put a message in a bottle and send it out to sea.

here are her orders;

"Somewhere in a faraway bloggiverse on an island with a palm tree swaying in the breeze, a message bottle sits side by side with a Pina Colada and a cute little striped umbrella horizontally tilted in the beachy sand.
Did YOUR bottle make it to land? Have you checked lately? There are now 285 bottles floating in the bloggy ocean just waiting to be mysteriously delivered to a tropical island near you. It's time you added yours!
Here are the rules:
You are about to send a virtual Message In a Bottle across the Blog Ocean.
Leave a message in the sand or on the bottle. Write anything you wish. Be a pirate or a poet. Serious or silly. Rant or ruminate.
Anonymous or not.What message would you like to send out to the universe?
Message In A Bottle Meme"

1. Compose a message to place in your virtual bottle below.
It can even be ANONYMOUS message.
I will not reveal your identity.

2. Right click and Save the graphic below

3. Use a graphics program of your choice to place the message on the picture

4. Post the meme and these rules on your blog

6. Tag a minimum of five people - or your entire blogroll - to do the same. Notify them of the tag.

Your virtual bottle will remain afloat in the blogosphere ocean for all blogernity (That's a Mimism for blog + eternity.)I will add it to the master list of message bottles when you let me know you've completed the meme.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'M ASKING YOU TO TAG. PLEASE DO!
I will also add it to Message In a Bottle blog with a link back to you. "

I don't know why Queen Mimi left out number 5 in her directions to us. Perhaps it is a secret message, perhaps it is something we have to decode? Nonetheless I will do my best to follow directions!

After thinking awhile, I decided I would put a Tarot Card and an affirmation in my bottle to send afloat. Whoever finds it will be the one for whom the message of the card was intended :o)

* more on the Ace of Swords - http://www.learntarot.com/sa.htm

tagging? Oh I suppose... I can't leave out number 6, although our Queen can apparently leave out whatever numbers she wishes!

I TAG -
Jai at a Witch's Tale: http://jaidmoon.blogspot.com/,
Slothwomyn at snapshots of a spiral path http://slothwomyn.blogspot.com/,
CaramelBliss at College Mama Dorkiness http://mamadorkiness.wordpress.com/
Nikki at 23Flavors http://23-flavors.blogspot.com/
BlackenedPhoenix at The Domestic Witch http://thedomesticwitch.blogspot.com/