12 Days of Yule; Day 1

12 Days of Yule; Day 1

Follow along with my 12 Days of Yule Blog Prompts here;  http://journalyourselfawake.blogspot.com/2012/12/12-days-of-yule-day-1.html

Today's Prayer;

"Cold and dark, this time of year,
the earth lies dormant, awaiting the return
of the sun, and with it, life.
Far beneath the frozen surface,
a heartbeat waits,
until the moment is right,
to spring."

By Patti Wigington

Here in the desert, the winter is not the classic "winter" that they sing about in the Christmas songs.  It doesn't snow here, many of our trees are still green, so it can be difficult to connect with that "Winter" feeling.  But there is a chill in the air, the nights get pretty cold, and there are subtle differences.  It sounds different outside, there are no cicadas chirping loudly in the Palo Verde trees, no buzzing of bees, and many birds have gone further south for the winter (spoiled, aren't they?)  I don't hear the mockingbirds anymore.  There are no lizards or geckos crawling the walls of my house, and the un-ending stream of ants that was trying to invade my home all summer has mysteriously disappeared.  So even while I can't really connect with the songs about snow, and my picture of winter is quite different than my ancestors must have experienced in Germany, Ireland, and England many many years ago....I can still find ways to contemplate the winter and what it means for me here in the desert.  Today's blog prompt asks us to consider what has gone dormant around us, and what might also need to go dormant in our lives.  The Earth simplifies herself in the winter, shedding all that she doesn't need, reserving energy for the spring.  She becomes a minimalist.  So I ask myself, what can I minimize in my life?  What parts of my life need to "Hibernate" for a while?

I know that in my home, I have a lot of clutter and "things" that I need to let go of.  I had begun a room-by-room decluttering process in the fall, and I need to continue with that and really purge the closets and shelves of things I no longer need, use, or love. 

I need to let go of an attitude that creates procrastination.  This may seem counter-intuitive to winter dormancy, since a lack of procrastination would actually result in me doing MORE.  But my procrastination creates more stress, and I need to let that go. 

I drew a tarot card, asking what I need to release and how I can do it, and I got The Ace of Pentacles.  The Ace is about beginnings and planting seeds of prosperity, reaching out and grasping the abundance that is available.  I feel that this card is confirming my thought that I need to release my procrastinations and stress.  Although the earth lies dormant, some seeds of the spring are already in the ground, preparing for spring so they can grow.  I can take this time to plant my own "seeds" and prepare for the future.  I need to keep planning, and "planting" and even though I might not see the fruits of my labor right away, the process needs to begin now.  I need to let my financial fears and worries go dormant, and focus on the hope for better times that are on their way.  Today I will work on putting my fears to rest, and to know when the time is right to act.  I plant the seeds and expect the best!

The following is from "Around The Tarot in 78 Days" by Marcus Katz and Tali Goodwin;

The Ace of Pentacles says;
"There is a material opportunity in the making that is not yet fully formed.  You must be open and receptive  to material reward; good times could be awaiting you.  Now is the time to set the ball rolling on any venture or transaction, or to court prosperity by merely investing in a solitary lottery ticket."

Connect to your card;
Plant a seed -- whether literally or one of an idea.  Have a fresh start at something new.

You are blocking this card today by;
1. Not investing in your future security.
2. Turning down that lucrative deal you have been offered.
3. Not buying a lottery ticket.
4. Refusing the support you have been offered.

Meditation;
"Great oaks from little acorns grow." Allow yourself to be like the little acorn; know that you will grow forever upwards and fulfill your destiny.

Affirmation;
"I am the seed of all that can be created"

Mommy Time Monday - Turn that frown sunny-side up!

Mommy Time Monday! Each week I'll draw and post a tarot card from The Housewives Tarot and share it with you. So go ahead, sit down and take some time for yourself, you never know what inspiration and advice The Housewives may have for you!

Today I drew The Sun... a Major Arcana card that depicts optimism, abundance, and a free-spirited type of joy.  Even though today is cloudy and rainy outside, I am feeling more optimistic and positive than I have felt in weeks, and I hope that you - my readers - will find that positivity and optimism throughout this week as well!
As we prepare for Yule, the Winter Solstice's rebirth of the sun, it's easy to get wrapped up in the stress and chaos of the secular holiday.  Society has twisted the season into a time of greed and mass consumption.  As a housewife it can be easy to be wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of the season.... we are decorating our homes, planning what gifts to buy for the kids, wrapping and hiding presents in the closets, baking cookies, planning for holiday parties, or just plain running ourselves ragged delivering the children to their holiday parties and events.  I feel that this card is encouraging... no - urging us to take a few minutes out of the chaos to feel the warm glow of the spark of light that resides within us... to really feel the rebirth of the sun that happens within us at Winter Solstice.  It is not just an outer thing that happens to the Earth and the Sun, it is a rebirth and a renewal of energy that is reflected in all of life... including you!
As for me, I am feeling very optimistic.  Money may be tight, but it doesn't bother me.  It will come when I need it, just as the sun will return.  What is most important is family... and sharing smiles and simple moments of delight.
So, go ahead... turn that frown upside down and just embrace the optimistic energy of the season!
Blessed Be!
~ Lady Josephine

-----------------------------------
The Housewives' Tarot, by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum, Quirk Publications
I claim no ownership of this deck, it's artwork, or the shared message from the guidebook.
If you would like your own personal reading with The Housewives' Tarot, come check out the Domestic Divination section of my website! Have a Blessed week! ~ Lady Jo

Mommy Time Monday - 8 of Cups Type of Day

Mommy Time Monday! Each week I'll draw and post a tarot card from The Housewives Tarot and share it with you. So go ahead, sit down and take some time for yourself, you never know what inspiration and advice The Housewives may have for you!

 Ever wake up and make yourself a pot of coffee, only to realize you don't have any clean coffee cups?  So before you can enjoy your morning cup of wake-up-and-be-human-juice, you have to search the house for cups and wash some dishes... just to get started on your day?  And then, as you're washing that cup... the dreaded sense of DejaVu.  Wait, didn't I just wash these same dishes yesterday?  It's an 8 of Cups type of day.

It's one of those moments when you realize (Painfully) that the system you currently have in place just isn't working anymore.  Something has to change, whether it's your routines, your attitude, or enlisting the kids and hubby to do the dishes once in awhile.... it's apparent that things need to be done a little differently.  When you reach this stalemate, it's important to remember that in order for any new system to take effect, you have to be willing to fully Let Go of that past system. 

It may be time for you to walk away from something in your life.  Because face it, it's just not working out.  It's not that these coffee cups didn't bring you joy (and steaming coffee) in the past... but if they are chipped, cracked, or stained and no longer bringing you joy (just the risk of E-Coli) then it's time to let them go.  Release yourself of this burden.

In my life right now, there are a few things that are just bringing me stress and honestly just not working out anymore.  For one, this summer vacation has been chaotic and completely without structure.  It was fun at first, the kids have enjoyed it.  But I'm getting frazzled with the house a complete mess, the kids living each day without structure.... it's not working out!  It's time for me to pick up the pieces and start adding some major structure to the day... including homework, studying, and chores for the kids.  After all, summer is half over, we might as well get back to living like civilized beings once again!

The other thing that's not working out is my job.  I have worked outside the home as a waitress for all of my adult life... and the past seven years have been with the same restaurant.  In the past, this business has helped me provide from my family in an environment that I enjoyed working in.  This hasn't been true for awhile.  I'm not happy, and I'm not making enough money any more either.  I have already started looking for another job, but I have been frustrated with the lack of responses to my applications and interviews.  This week I was thinking... my attachment to my current job may be part of what is holding me back.  I have to really LET GO, and cut the cords (energetically, etherically, and physically) in order to free myself to go find the next thing that awaits me.  I don't know what that might be, and it's a little scary.  But until I am ready to really let go, I'll just be holding myself back.  This card reminded me that sometimes, no matter how much we have loved or enjoyed something, if it's not serving us anymore, we have to let it go.... but that WE have to be the ones willing to change if we ever want something to improve.

Do you have something in your life that just isn't working anymore?  Is it your job, your routine, a household appliance, a friendship, or even just a bag of clothes in the closet that is never going to fit you again?  If something brings you stress, it may just be time to walk away.  Free yourself.  It might just be incredibly liberating!

Mommy Time Monday - The Fool

Yep... I got this card again.  Last week I didn't draw a card, but the week before I did, and it was this one.... (see my last post).  So, I'm feeling I really need to dig in deeper to the meaning of this card.

As I shuffled I was asking the Housewives to give me a message to help me with my attitude towards housework.  Today, and thru most of last week, I have been slipping.  My motivation is lacking, and my house is suffering.  I'm having these moments of feeling sorry for myself, complaining that I get no help, that it isn't fair, etc.  It's the same story every week.  Thru the week I work hard to get my house in order... the laundry caught up, the bathrooms cleaned, the kitchen cleaned, and whatever extra organizing I can manage, on top of dealing with the kids, cooking dinners, and trying to get the best possible deals with coupons at the grocery store and attempting to balance the budget and make sure the bills are paid.  Sometimes I get along just fine, happy to do my part, enjoying the blessings of being able to do all these things for my family.  But sometimes I just feel bogged down, unappreciated, overworked, and stretched too thin.

The weekends come and go, and for 20 hours of the weekend I am at work, only home on Saturday night to sleep and then back home Sunday evening in time for dinner.  During my absence, the house seems to fall apart.  No one does the dishes unless they need a clean dish to eat off of, no one clears those flat surfaces of junk, no one does any laundry.  Now I can't say I blame my husband... he works all week and deserves to relax on his 2 days off.  But I must admit I have been growing bitter at coming home to such a mess after I spend the weekdays keeping it clean.

So as I shuffled my cards, I asked; what can I do to change my attitude about my situation?  I am not looking to change my husband, I love him the way he is, and I love the other ways in which he provides for me and our family.  But I don't want this bitterness to grow.

The Fool card indicates a new beginning, an new journey of sorts.  It's obvious that the housewife on this card needs to pull herself together a little bit... she's so scattered and a bit un-organized.  Maybe she needs to prioritize.  Maybe she needs a little help.  So, maybe it's not a bad thing for me to ask for help, and maybe I'm being a fool thinking I can handle all of this myself!  The Fool card often indicates a new attitude, new adventure, new journey.  Maybe I'm just going about things the wrong way and I need to re-evaluate and think of things a little differently.  Not that I want to shirk any of my responsibilities.... but maybe an attitude adjustment is in order here.  I can swallow my pride and ask my husband for help... I just have to make sure I choose my words carefully and let him know I do appreciate what he does... while at the same time re-evaluating my priorities and figuring out just exactly where I want to put my energy and what I need to direct my focus on.... so as not to be the fool running around with mis-matched shoes and a trail of chaos!

Weekly Housewives Report 4/18 - 4/22

Weekly Houswives' Report 4/18/2011 - 4/22/2011

The week began and I drew this card for myself from The Housewives Tarot - The Fool.  I could certainly relate to this harried housewife, running around in somewhat of a frenzy, excited about the prospects of her week but just not quite in control.  Like the housewife on this card, the multitude of tasks and responsibilities of the week were just an unorganized mess of plans and emotions.  Once I saw this card I knew I needed to just slow down, simplify, and FOCUS.  Not always an easy thing for me to do!

With the FlyLady.net program this week we were focusing on the Master Bedroom.  I figured that focusing some of my energy on renewing my personal space would be a perfect way for me to slow down, simplify, and prioritize.  When my Bedroom is clean and inviting I tend to spend more time taking care of myself.  I sleep better, I meditate more, and I just feel better!

 So... this area needed some work.  This was my bookshelf next to the bed.  Most of my books were either in the closet or in the computer room because there just wasn't enough room for them here.  I had gotten a new book shelf a couple weeks ago, but hadn't brought it in here yet.  I hadn't really decided if it was going to go in my Master Bedroom or in another room.  But I decided my books and tarot cards needed a better home than their present location, sooo....

 Ta-Da!  Transformation!  ALL my "woo~woo" books in one place!  Now I actually WANT to stay in my room... I mean with all my books straightened and easy to find, I've got my own personal witchy library here and I love it!

 My Tarot and Oracle Card collection... now in it's worthy home that deserves some showing off!

And my Tarot Library!   Still growing... but it just makes me so happy to see all my tarot books in one place, happily on a shelf together with my tarot journals!

The lower shelves contain my spiritual books with topics ranging from Astrology, Meditation, Yoga, Wicca, Witchcraft, and other Pagan Paths.

Tuesday night I had my Yoga Class and our meditation on Awakening your Inner Child.  I was inspired to write a couple blogs about that experience...
Awakening Your Inner Child
Peace of Mind
Thirteen Ways to Awaken Your Inner Child
I was also reminded that as a child, our personal space in the world is our bedroom, it is our sanctuary, our kingdom where our imagination can roam and our play and fantasies really come to life.  This inspired me to keep working on my bedroom, even when it began to look like this.... 

But 30 minutes or so took care of THAT problem....

Ahhh!  Feels so much better now, doesn't it?!?!

I ended the week by getting rid of some clothes from the closets and dressers and immediately taking those clothes to my local Goodwill thrift store.  I got myself 1 new pair of jeans for work, and found a new lampshade to go with the lamp I got at a yardsale... so now my Master Bedroom is not only clean and organized, but well- lit also!  The sheets and comforter have been washed today also, so I'm about to crawl into bed and enjoy the scent of lavender on my sheets as I drift of to sleep in my energetically cleansed sanctuary!

All in all, I think this Fool managed to pull herself together and accomplish exactly what needed to be done!  Now I'm ready for the next stage of my journey, whatever that may be!

Mommy Time Monday - 2 of Pentacles

Mommy-Time Monday!
Housewives' Card of the Week
2 of Pentacles

I thought I'd start something new and every Monday draw a card from my Housewives Tarot deck for some good housewife/mommy type advice for the week ahead. I might not get around to posting every Monday, we'll see how it goes. But just like with my Tuesday's Oracle posts, these cards are not just for me, but for anyone who might come across them!

This week's card is the Two of Pentacles.
From the guidebook by Jude Buffum and Paul Kepple;
Keywords - Balance, Responsibilities, Pressure
"Like juggling priceless porcelain plates, balancing the responsibilities of a housewife and the pressures of a business takes grace and determination. The Two of Pentacles is about maintaining a balance, even when you've got a snot-nosed brat tugging at your right leg and a belligerent cocker spaniel chewing on your left. Don't despair, the babysitter will be here at five o'clock sharp!"

Boy do I know what it's like to be trying to balance so many aspects of your life!! Last week it all got to me, or should I say, Clinical Depression and PMS got to me, and I couldn't keep the balance. I slacked off on my housework, my mommy duties, and even my self-care and spent most of the week either sleeping or reading. This week I'm ready to try and get my house, and life, back in balance! This card is a good reminder that I need Grace and Determination to manage a household, but I also need to keep MYSELF in balance. The housewife on this card is still dressed fashionably, and seems to have a style of her own... she hasn't let her duties stop her from taking the time to express herself. (On another note, her hair is red, and I just dyed my hair red last week!!) So while it may be tempting to jump all gung-ho into the housework, getting organized, balancing the checkbook, printing coupons, etc... let's not forget to do it all with our own personal style and grace, and take the time for our personal life as well. Like the housewife on this card, do it with a smile, dance, laugh!

The Housewives' Tarot, by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum, Quirk Publications

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Journaling questions for the Two of Pentacles (from Mary K. Greer's "Tarot For Yourself")
* What two or more situations are you handling with ease?
* What are you adapting to?
* What do you want to change in your home, profession, status, finances, etc?
* What are you juggling in order to keep stable (money, weight, lifestyle)?
* In what ways do you play and use your excess energies?
* What calls for diplomacy? (And Grace?) (Or determination?)

Clear Your Space

Today I was reminded of the importance of having a Sacred Space. I have my altar, tucked into a nice little corner in my bedroom; but it isn't always a place that I can go to unwind. Sometimes the kids are running amok and I can't just leave them unnatended. Sometimes my husband is sleeping or reading in that room, etc. I was sitting at my computer this morning, wanting to do a reading for a client and do my daily facebook postings of a positive nature... and I thought... what am I doing? I just wasn't feeling it. I was feeling this overwhelming anxiety. I've been feeling it for a while now. I could feel the depression there; lurking in the background... waiting to get in. Latley it gets in every day... I start off positive and then end up feeling bogged down, overwhelmed, lost. And I haven't been getting much of anything done. I would retreat to my haven; the computer desk and facebook... but end up feeling worse. This morning as I sat here and looked around, it hit me... THIS needs to be a sacred space. This area needs to be peaceful and serene. I mean, how can I sit here and offer advice to others and try to feed this positive light through the wires of the internet when I am surrounded by this;Clutter and mess and not even a clear space to set down my coffee mug? Why is it that even though I know the importance of keeping these flat surfaces and "hot spots" clear of clutter, I tend to neglect the one area where I spend the most of my time? No wonder I've been procrastinating on giving readings.... I don't even have enough room here to lay out my cards. No wonder I have a sense of anxiety and depression... when I come here to "take a break" and escape from stress, I'm surrounded by clutter. This picture doesn't show it all... but there is even clutter on the floor all around this area. Well... there WAS. But then I got up and cleaned it. In a matter of 30 minutes I cleared away the clutter, threw out the trash, and added some items to help this area become a peaceful, sacred place to rest, do readings, meditate, listen to music, etc.I began to feel better almost immediatley. Like.....LOTS better. I could kick myself for not doing this sooner.... for letting it get to this point to begin with. I get so occupied with trying to keep the kitchen, livingroom, bathroom, etc. clean that I tend to put off cleaning my personal areas. (Speaking of which... my bedroom and altar area are a mess right now! But that will be for another day) I tend to put off those personal areas, sacrificing the cleanliness of my personal spaces because I "don't have time", or the other areas seem more important. But you know what? I spent 30 minutes clearing this space... felt immensley better... and my energy started flowing again. I cleaned more of the spaces in this room. Then I cleaned the kitchen.... really good. I mean, my kitchen is SPARKLING like a Cullen Vamp. AND I still had time to give the kid a bath, have a phone conference with my daughter's teacher, and cook dinner. I'm sitting here right now, not worrying about what I didn't get done today... but relaxing with my candle lit, a cup of hot tea, and getting ready to catch up on my favorite TV series Fringe by watching the episode I missed last week. Life is good, and yes, it CAN be as simple as clearing a sacred space for yourself.

I was reminded of this card from the Archangel Oracle deck by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. -

"Archangel Jophiel - Clear Your Space" (Card posted at the top of this blog post)
This is one of the first cards I drew for myself when I got this deck two years ago, and it is part of the inspiration that got me started on www.FlyLady.net . I'm a devoted FlyBaby, but even I need a reminder now and then to do something a little extra, and how important it can be to have a Sacred Space. The message along with this card from Archangel Jophiel says;
"Your home and work environments affect you on many levels. Clutter can erode your energy, creativity, and prosperity. I'll help you find the time and motivation to clear interferences from your physical environment. Together, we'll release anything thats not serving you. We'll donate, recycle, or discard unused items. We'll open the windows to circulate fresh air in the rooms. And I'll escort lower energies away. You'll notice huge improvements in all areas of your life as a result of this endeavor."

Perhaps it was Jophiel who came and tapped me on the shoulder this morning and reminded me to do this. Perhaps I was reminded of this card because it's message is exactly what I needed right now... even though I didn't physically or randomly draw this card for myself today... I still feel like this was my Oracle card of the day. And I'm sooo glad I have this peaceful space in which to tell you about it!

Tuesday's Oracle - Visualization

I'm feeling drawn to the Fairies this week. Yesterday, for my Daily Draw, I used The Fey Tarot, and for this week's oracle reading I decided to use the Healing With The Fairies oracle deck by Doreen Virtue. I love this deck, but I have found that the Fairies who bless it are quite particular about how it is used. Visualization works best, and I will always visualize myself in an outdoor setting, with grass, a creek babbling nearby, and Ivy bushes near the creek.


Today I took my deck outside and sat in the sun. I closed my eyes and went to the Fairy place. Morning sun was reflecting off the dew in the Ivy branches, and birds were chirping loudly in the cottonwood trees. As I shuffle I just breathe in and out, letting my mind paint the details of my surroundings. There is movement in the ivy. Little glimmers of light tell me that there are fae playing in the branches. My eyes still closed, I draw one card. A small fairy comes out of the ivy and walks towards me. She doesn't come too close, but she has a message for me. I open my eyes to see what card I have drawn.


Visualization!
Well, they seem to be happy with my visit. But this card is more than a pat on the back. I have proved to myself that I do have powerful visualization abilities, and the fairies are telling me to use them more often. It wasn't always this easy to visualize things. I have practiced many times, mostly when I use this specific deck of oracle cards. I visualize the same place each time I use this deck, and now it comes easily. But today, the fairies are telling me I need to start practicing this powerful tool of manifestation in other areas of my life as well.

From the Guidebook by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.;


"Your clairvoyance, your dreams, and the pictures in your mind's eye are becoming more clear and powerful. This card asks you to trust and develop your visual skills, and to use them in conscious manifestations.


The fairies know the power of conscious visualization as a tool of manifestation. By drawing this card, you are guided to sit quietly on a daily basis and to visualize yourself living a healthy, happy, abundant, and meaningful life. Visualize only what you desire, and avoid picturing that which you do not desire."


This is a confirmation to me, and an important reminder. Ironically, it is also the same message that the Angels gave me two weeks ago (remember this post; "Tuesday's Oracle - Visualize Success) I had planned on taking time DAILY for meditation and visualization. It went well that first week, but last week I fell away from it again. Today's card seems to be saying "get back on track!" I'm guessing that there might be others who follow my blog who might need a little reminder as well. When I do my Tuesday's Oracle readings and blog posts, I ask for a card with advice not just for me, but for advice for others as well. I trust that those who need to see this message will find it.

I have heard so many people say "But I'm not good at visualization", or "I don't know how to do that". It takes practice, and it takes faith in yourself. The first few times will be hard, and even if you don't get a clear picture in your mind's eye, it is always your INTENT that matters above all else. If you sit down with the intent of visualizing youself happy and healthy, with paid bills and a clean house, and just try to picture what you will look like, what you will be doing, what you will be feeling; then even without a crystal clear picture of this, you have sent your message to the universe. Don't let your fears and your doubts get in the way. Maybe it will help you if you imagine you are watching a movie of your future. Picture the movie screen or the tv screen and just see what images come across the screen. You are the director of this film, so if you begin to visualize anything negative, cut that scene from the movie and replace it with a happy scene. Even if you just take 5 minutes a day to practice your visualization, you will find it gets easier and you get better at it each time!! Here is some further advice from the booklet by Doreen Virtue;


"You have powerful visual skills, even if you are not aware of them. Affirm daily, "I am a highly visual person." Any blocks that you have about calirvoyance will begin to lift. Know that it is safe for you to see the future, the spirit world, and the truth about your life. By releasing any fears about "seeing", your visualization powers will be greatly magnified."

Daily Draw - The Empress (Fey)

I had a pretty simple day today, but one that has left me feeling quite empowered! It could be that this is the card I drew for myself this morning; it's message reminded me that my duties as a mother may seem mundane and repetetive; but if they are done properly and with the right attitude, it can make all the difference.

Card of The Day; 3 The Empress. From The Fey Tarot by Riccardo Minetti and Mara Aghem. "The Empress is the earthly mother, governess of the world. Contained within her are the links with the femininity of the Universe. She knows how to use intuition to decide; she knows how to fight with the heart. She grows things and cultivates the world like a garden."

I spent some time thinking about this as I started my day. I mean, it's Monday, so I knew I was going to spend the day cleaning. But after seeing this card and thinking about it's meaning, my duties didn't seem like "chores" any more.

"The dominion of the earthly world is governed by the alternation of powers. Just as the moon rises and falls and as the day becomes night to return dazzling tomorrow, the Empress governs half of the dominion of things. She governs between earth and sky. In her arms, strength; in her face courage, in her bosom she cares for and loves all things that are born and grow. She is mother and mistress; the infinite generative force. The Empress is power born from life."
~ Riccardo Minetti, The Fey Tarot, illustrated by Mara Aghem.

Amazingly, after putting in 25 hours at work between Friday night and Sunday night, and with a sore back, I managed to prioritize my housework and really bless my home for the week ahead. It feels "ready" to nurture my family. Then another amazing Empress moment;

I realized I had enough money to make my car payment... a whole week in advance! Usually I am 15 days late! So, the temptation was there, spend the money on something else.. something for the house, the garden, the kids.... but, this Empress made the wise choice. Rather than indulgence (though it would have been well-deserved), I paid that bill in advance. Now next week, next MONTH, that is one less thing I have to worry about. In retrospect, I look at the image of this specific Empress, and I see how she is looking off to the distance. Looking forward, ahead, to the future. I'm not always one for prioritizing, making wise choices, or following through with what I know needs to be done. But today, I had help. Thanks to the beautiful Empress of the Fey and her cuddly unicorn cub.

Tuesday's Oracle - Visualize Success

The past few weeks I have been working on getting settled. Settling in my new house and new environment, adjusting to my new routines, (and old routines, applied in new ways), adjusting to having a few more hours scheduled at work, etc. I guess you could say that my Aries cycle was one of action, as the fiery sign of the sun definatley gave me a boost in physical drive and productivity. I also took a bit of a break from my spiritual life... I wasn't doing any readings; for others or for myself. It wasn't a bad thing, but I realized I can't go for long without the spiritual being a part of my daily life!

Taurus energy kicked in last week as the sun entered Taurus, and I slowly felt myself becoming more grounded and centered once again. It was kinda like I had been on overdrive for the past month, going at high speeds and getting a lot done... but once I was able to shift into a slightly lower gear I could see more clearly. No longer a blur of life passing me by... but a beautiful landscape on the horizon, and I can appreciate it's beauty. How very Taurean... (if that is a word!)

So here I am, ready to pick up my spiritual studies, readings, meditations, and blogging once again. I was thinking it would be nice to do some kind of Daily Devotional. Many Christians (and other faiths) set aside a time of Daily Devotion, to read the scriptures and pray. I have realized I need this in my life too. But without one set of "scriptures" as a focal point, what should I study? What should I read or pray about? There is still SO MUCH I want to learn about, how do I pick just one thing? I have my books, my tarot decks, my oracle decks, the internet, the library.... what to do, what to do?? Then I realized... I could do something different each day. Then, another epiphany.... I follow the FlyLady weekly schedule, with a different focal point and project each day of the week, and since taking care of my home and family can also be spiritual excersizes... why not incorporate my Daily Devotions with my FlyLady routines??

Monday is Weekly Home Blessing Day - a day for a good basic cleaning where you do stuff like mop, vaccuum, dust, etc. So this would be a perfect day to take the Cleansing a bit further each week, with a personal energy cleansing ritual like smudging, chakra clearing, ritual sweeping, etc.

Tuesday is Pampering Day - a day to do your normal cleaning, but to also make sure you take time to do something for yourself... a bubble bath, a manicure, that deliciously evil drink from Starbucks... So, I think this would be a good day to give myself an Oracle Card reading each week... as these cards usually are fun, relaxed, and have great advice for how to take care of yourself, or "Pamper" yourself on a spiritual level. Feel free to follow along with my weekly Tuesday's Oracle posts... though the readings are for me, they will contain advice that will apply to any of my readers as well!

I made a list of other types of Daily Devotions I can do that fit in with my FlyLady routines and personal work schedules, but I will share those another time. For now, it's time for me to quit rambling and get on to this week's Oracle Card!!
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VISUALIZE SUCCESS
"See yourself doing well in this situation, and have faith in a positive outcome"

This is a good reminder for me. Sometimes I get so caught up in planning, that I forget to focus on the outcome, or the success. As a Capricorn, I love the planning stage, the organizing, the list making, the scheduling. But so often I will find myself stuck in that cycle, and never really reaching my goal or completing the project. Why? Because I focus so much on the building and working that I forget to visualize the outcome. Without a clear sense of the desired outcome of my projects, I think the energy just gets lost along the way. The booklet that came with this deck had one particular phrase that caught my attention today. It says "Give any concerns about how this particular positive outcome will occur to God and the Angels. The 'how' is taken care of by God's infinite wisdom and love." I needed to hear this, because, well- I'm a control freak and a perfectionist. I live by the law of "If you want something done right, do it yourself." and I like to think I am the one in control of manifesting my own success. It is true that I still need to work toward my goals and I can't just sit back watching Twilight and sipping Frappuchinos all day and expect my life to get better. BUT, I also need to learn to "Let Go, and Let God." when it comes to the things that I cannot control or change by myself. My new Law to Live by should be "If you want something done right, let God do it." My job, aside from doing the best I can in my daily life, is to Visualize Success.

Visualising Success can be a little harder than it sounds. It's so much easier to visualize disaster, wouldn't you agree? How many times have you found yourself worrying about things such as car accidents, sickness, money problems, etc.... to the point where you actually visualize one of these things happening? How many times do you visualize yourself attaining your goals and being happy and content? If you're human... you probably do the first much more often than the latter. Why is this? Why do we have such a hard time visualizing that happy outcome? We could blame the media, society, our parents, etc. But I think that the truth of this matter is that we don't believe we DESERVE success. But here's the kicker - we all are deserving of success and happiness. God wants us to have success and happiness, and the Universe is just waiting for us to open that door and love ourselves enough to accept it's wonderful gifts. Visualizing the negative only builds a wall, but visualizing positive outcomes and success will help us break down that wall - one peice at a time.
Here is my goal for the day, and for the rest of the week. I am going to be more conscious of my thought patterns. Every time I find myself thinking negatively or "visualizing disaster", I will stop, and ask God and the Angels to help me Visualize Success instead. Then I will visualize in my mind the positive outcome that I should be focused on. For my meditation today, I will simply sit in silence and visualize myself accomplishing my goals, being healthy, safe, and happy. I hope you will join me in Visualizing Success. You deserve it!

Namaste!

*Angel Therapy Oracle Cards, by Doreen Virtue, Hay House Inc. Artwork on this card by Audrey Rawlings Arena*

I Write Love On My Arms

I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. I have learned coping skills since then and for the most part I am a positive and happy person. But when life gets stressful and the depression kicks in, it can be hard to practice what I preach. I told a friend last night, "I can't throw myself a life jacket." I was sitting here considering whether or not to call a depression crisis hotline, as I just felt that I needed someone to talk to. But I was scared, I've never called one of those hotlines before. And I kept giving myself excuses. I'm not suicidal, I'm not crying, I'm not cutting myself or self medicating with drugs. But other signs of depression have been here. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep at night. At night I lay awake in near panic-attack mode, my mind spinning with the worries and stresses o my life. In the daytime, I can function, but it's a struggle just to keep myself out of bed. On the days I do go back to bed, I sleep all day. On the days I manage to stay out of bed, I feel that it is all I can do to take care of the kids and the daily household chores. Taking a shower or bath? Too much work. Making important phone calls? Too hard. Eating? Too much effort.
So I was stting here looking online at a list of Depresson Hotlines, trying to decide whether or not to call someone. Which one? What would I say? Would they judge me? Would I be wasting my time calling a hotline that says "Suicide Hotline" - when I'm not suicidal? Excuses. I picked up my deck of cards (at the urging of an online friend) and drew a card. The 9 of Swords. (Above). Okay... obvious, right?
I called a local Crisis Hotline. It was the best thing I could have done. The person I talked to was so compassionate and understanding, and seemed to know exactly what to talk to me about. I talked for an hour to a stranger about my life and my feelings, and this phone call was probably the biggest act of self-love that I have taken in a long time. Aside from talking me through my feelings, she gave me some ideas and hope, along with some community refferal numbers to call for further assistance. I guess I'm writing this because I want others to hear first hand that these hotlines can help. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or depressed, call someone. It was the best thing I could have done.

Today is "To Write Love On Her Arms Day". TWLOHA is a Depression Awareness and support group. Each year they ask people to write love on their arms to spread awareness about Depression. As I wrote "Love" on my arm today, I realized how far I have come over the years. Last night I reached out and asked for help. In the past, I wouldn't have done that. I would have silently suffered until I reached my breaking point. Here on my arm where the words Love are written, there used to be scars. The scars have faded and over the years I have finally learned how to Love myself instead of hurt myself.

Ascended Masters - Confucius & Jesus

Tonite, after an exhausting yet gratifying birthday party for my son and husband, the kids are in bed, the kitchen is a mess, and all is quiet. All,that is, except for my spirit. I feel restless, ill-at-ease, as if I pressure is building in the very atmosphere around me. It could be the stress of my current life; my financial state is looking very grim right now. I am trying to stay positive and release my worries, but it is hard with this crushing feeling pushing in around me from all sides. I am in desperate need of some energy cleansing, and have already decided that I will be taking a bath and doing some yoga before bed tonite. Yet I felt like I needed to do something more, and more than that, I felt the need to blog. But what to write about? So I pulled out a deck of Oracle cards to draw one card for a thought for the week. As I shuffled the "Angel Therapy Oracle Cards" (Doreen Virtue, Hay House) I asked my Spirit Guide to give me a card that would guide me an help me find peace during this time of uncertainty.....

"Ascended Masters" ~ Powerful, loving, and wise spiritual teachers are watching over you and guiding you."

From the guidebook by Doreen Virtue; "This card indicates that you have a strong connection with one or more ascended masters , who are helping you with the situation you've inquired about. Ascended Masters are powerful teachers and healers who once walked the earth. Many are associated with religions such as Jesus, Quan Yin, the saints, Moses, Mother Mary, Ganesha, Buddha, Confucius, and so forth. You don't have to be a religious person to warrant an Ascended Master's attention. The only qualification is sincerity and pure desire to work with the deity for the betterment of humanity and the planet. The first Ascended Master or Masters who enter your thoughts right now are the beings who are helping you. These masters love and honor you. They know of your talents and spiritual gifts, and they'll help you hone them so they may be used in sacred service."

The first Ascended Master to pop into my mind was Confucius. I get a daily quote of his on my iGoogle page, and I find these simple quotes very inspiring. But then I realized, if I was being totally honest with myself, the first Ascended Master to pop into my mind tonite was Jesus. I at first tried to deny this; too many years of "bad blood" between me and Christianity. I started looking up Confucius quotes but that sinking feeling was still here. Then I realized, this card is talking about The Ascended Masters, and their teachings, not the dogmatic rules of the man-made religions that crudely represent them. I have no problem with Jesus himself, and his teachings, but I tend to distance myself from his Archetype because of a personal problem with the Fundies. *Sigh* So I typed in a search for Jesus Quotes and this is the first one I came across;

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."(Matthew 6.31-34 ESV)

I immediately knew that this is the message I was intended to hear tonite. I am smiling again, because two things have happened for me tonite. First, I have been reminded that the God and Goddess are with me, that my worry and anxiety do nothing to solve the problem, and that "Tomorrow will be anxious for itself".... what will be will be, Que Sera, Sera! Putting my energy towards Spiritual enlightenment, rather than worldly worry will bring the resolutions I seek. Second, I have finally been able to separate "Jesus The Ascended Master" from the "Jesus of the Insane Baptist Church of my Youth." Perhaps I can begin to develop a relationship with him again, after all?

Once I mentally digested this little nugget, I could still hear the quiet nudge from Confucius, tapping my shoulder. I could just picture Jesus and Confucius standing behind me, patiently waiting for me to "get it". So I did another random search (what would the world be without Internet search engines?), this time for Confucius Quotes. I found two that seemed to go along with the other;

"With coarse rice to eat, with water to drink, and my bended arm for a pillow - I have still joy in the midst of these things. Riches and honors acquired by unrighteousness are to me as a floating cloud."

&

"The scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar."

~ Confucius, The Confucian Analects

Thursday's 13 - 13 things I did today

It's been awhile since I have posted a Thursday's 13. I was gonna blog about my day, and figured I'd kill 2 birds with one stone so to speak, and do it ~List Style~

AAAAHH!! I was typing this last night, and Blogger suddenly had some very annoying technical difficulties that prevented me from finishing it or posting it! Thankfully most of my draft was saved!!!



http://thursday-13.com/2009/10/21/thursday-13-week-42/

A Not-So-Average Day In My Life

1) Woke up and realized that I had forgotten to play "Tooth Fairy" last night. HOW could I do that? My 6 yr old daughter just lost her 1st tooth! Fortunatley, she was in the bathroom and the other 2 kids were still sleeping - I was able to sneak into her room and make the switch. This of course, resulted in her screeching with suprise as she returned to her room and found that the tooth that had been there moments before was gone, replaced with money. Of course, she finds mommy in her bed, "sleeping" - after screaming so loud that she had woken everyone up, except for me :o)



2) Made a healthy breakfast of GrapeNuts cereal with raisins, Yogurt, and juice. Yep, I'm making an effort to change from the quick & easy breakfast to the fresh fruits or other healthy stuff breakfasts. (Aartianna, aren't you proud?)



3) Played on FaceBook. For way too long. What can I say?



4) Drank a coffee from Starbucks. Hubby was home today and went out and got us each a Starbucks, a special indulgence, and yes - one of my guilty pleasures.



5) Finally washed the dishes, scrubbed the countertops, swept the kitchen floor and took out the trash. I had been putting this off since Wednesday.... but once I got started it only took me 30 minutes to do. (kicking myself in the butt and reminding myself of all I havelearned from FlyLady ) I blame temporary amnesia. But, all is back in order now!



6) Got in the car with son and Hubby and took a drive. OMG it was so nice to get out of the apartment for awhile!!



7) Ended up at a used book store - can you say HEAVEN?? *Contented Sigh* Browsed among hundreds of books - love the smell of books!! Bought Mr. X a "Super Why" Matching Card Game, bought myself another blank Tarot journal, and a copy of Buckland's "Practical Candleburning Rituals"



8) Went across the street to eat at McDonalds (I know, EEWWW!) But they have this really big awesome play land, with some almost-life sized replicas of DINOSAURS - Mr. X had so much fun!!!

9) Drove around town some more, looking for a guitar shop for Hubby. He was given a guitar and is teaching himself to pla. We found a really nice music shop and looked around - we will have to go back there again sometime!

10) We came home (Mr. X made it the whole 3 hours without having an accident, an he used the public restrooms about 4 times - YAY!) The girls came home from school and since it was so nice outside, I sat on the steps and watched them while all 3 of my kids played in the grass.

11) I cooked dinner. Nothing special, the cupboards are getting bare (it's the end of the week). Hamburger Helper, Veggies, Fruit, and Bread.

12) I spent some time looking at my new books, and some more time on FaceBook. My two favorite shows were not on this week, so while my Thursdays are usually booked, I had some extra free time. (The Vampire Diaries was a re-run, and Fringe wasn't on due to baseball.) I even washed the dishes, put the kids to bed, and cleaned up the livingroom at my leisure. But it all got done!!

13) I drew a Tarot Card for the day. Just out of boredom and curiosity, I asked the Tarot to clarify what my lesson for the day had been. I drew the 9 of Pentacles. I know I definatley had the "Enjoying Leisure" part of this car down, and I did feel pretty in control of my life today (Even though hubby was home and we went out for awhile, I still had the self-discipline to get my housework done.) And - I am crossing my fingers and knocking on wood - because this card can indicate that my harvest is almost ready, that it is almost time to see the benefits and rewards of all my hard work, determination, self-control, and faith. (A house?? Our House? Can I dare to get my hopes up?!?!?!)

Onward & Upward!

So I'm thinking about this upcoming week and what kind of goals I'd like to set for myself. I know I'd like to have a more motivated attitude this week, but it's not always something I can just conjure at will. But, as of right now I am feeling pretty confident that I will have the energy and motivation that I was lacking last week.

It's the start of the third week with the girls back in school; Mister X and I are feeling more adjusted to the daily routine and I think I'm ready to add something new to the daily routine for now; Preschool Time for Mister X!! No, he is not going to preschool!! But, he is almost four, and I think it would be good for him to spend at least 30 minutes a day with mommy, learning things like shapes, colors, numbers, and letters. He's a pretty smart little cookie and I think he will enjoy doing some "school stuff with mommy" each day. I already have some work books & stuff, I just want to get some ink for my printer so I can print off some stuff I might find online.

I want to stick to my daily cleaning routines and try to have my list done daily - I know if I stick with it and don't get distracted or lazy I can have it done by 1:00 every day. Also - it will help me if I do my Bedtime Routine every night, it means my cleaning the next day will already be started or caught up and in the long run it will save me time! This is also the FlyLady Habit of the Month for September so I'll be working on that all month till it becomes habit!!

FlyLady's Zone this week is back to Zone 1; The Front Porch, Front Entrance, and Dining Room. (for my Fellow FlyBabies you will understand what I am talking about next, for those of you who don't follow FlyLady just hang in there a second!!) So, I have come to realize that in Zone 1 I don't have any more decluttering to do. It's all decluttered! That means that (with this Zone at least) it's time to move on to DETAILING!! Not that I need a new project, but if I have the time & energy to take something on, FlyLady has a list of some Detail Cleaning Projects here; http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlightPlan.asp. It's a really neat feeling to be moving on to this stage. Although other parts of my home are still in the De-Cluttering phase, just moving on in this one area gives me such a sense of accomplishment!

So these are my main goals for the week;
To Spend 30 minutes a day doing Pre-School stuff with Mr. X
To Work on Detail Cleaning Zone 1
To do my daily routines & daily cleaning
To do my Bedtime Routine every night

I decided to draw a couple cards from The Housewives Tarot and see what Advice I have to carry me thru the week; Body, Mind & Spirit

I got;
Body -The Star
Mind - Ace of Swords
Spirit - Queen of Cups

Body (My Advice for the Physical realm) - The Star. Looks like when it comes to my physical being I am in the limelight and can celebrate my success. This card can also represent creative energy and inspiration from spiritual sources - I think in this case it is reminding me that my home & my body (my physical world) are things that I should take pride in and if I am creative and connected to my spirituality, will find the energy and inspiration I need to succeed.

Mind - (My Advice for the Mental Realm) - Ace of Swords - this card is the Epitome of Mental Force, it represents the will and drive of the mind to cut thru any confusion, get straight to the point, to discover the truth. It is the Strength to Overcome using the power of one's mind, logic, and truth. In other words, I CAN do whatever I set my mind to! I must not let things like emotion, doubt, fear, frustration, etc. get in the way of me being able to see the truth of the matter; which is my own willpower. I am reminded of what Louise L. Hay says; "All we are ever dealing with is thought, and thought can be changed!"

Spirit - (My Advice for the Spiritual Realm) Queen of Cups - this Queen is the Emotional, Feminine, Introspective matriarch of the suit of Cups; where all matters of the heart reside. While my advice for the mental realm is more about logic and the power of thought, I feel that this card is telling me that my Spirit needs and craves some emotional release, some introspection, and I must not neglect that side of myself as well. I think it will do me some good (as always) to make sure I take time for pampering, spirituality, and even a cocktail or two with a girlfriend this week, my Spirit needs the pampering and fun. But this card can also serve as a warning because while the Spirit has needs, this Queen is the type who will neglect her other obligations while she wallows in her emotions or obsesses over her feelings & romances.

2 of Swords - Kung Fu peace-of-mind

Last night we went to look at a potential house. Our realtor has been putting in offers left and right, and we are just hoping to not be outbid. We haven't gone to see every single house she has put an offer on - why get our hopes up? Instead we are waiting till an offer is accepted, then going to look at the house and see if we will take it or not. It's really exciting to hear that an offer has been accepted; we take the 40 minute drive thinking, praying, maybe this is the one! Alas, once again, a disappointment. It is rather small, two of the "Four" bedrooms are a combined room with a divider between them - you can hardly really call it one bedroom - much less two. The "Fourth Bedroom" is totally detached from the house, like they turned the storage shed into another room; this is not going to work for our young family of five! So we turned it down and drove back to our apartment.

For the most part, I am staying positive. I am just trying to trust that the right house for us will turn up, trusting that there is a divine plan and purpose behind everything. I'm not feeling super-motivated today, but I'm not feeling apathetic or "down" either. I'm just here, wondering how to go about my day. So I decided to draw a card.

Since I was already at my computer, I just went to Aeclectic Tarot to use their free electronic tarot reading section. While I don't always trust the electronic readings (there is something lost when you count only on card meanings and leave out the empathy and intuitiveness of an actual reader) - I have still found these electronic readings to be quite helpful from time to time.

Today I got the Two of Swords;

http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/project/4/02_swords.shtml

While the classic meaning of this card sometimes relates to some internal mental struggle, opposing views, conflicts, etc, I found the meanings given here to be more aligned to what I am feeling. Peace. Huh. That's interesting....yes. I DO feel at Peace. Strange. Just like on the card (shown at the above link) - I know that there my be struggles and challenges ahead. I will eventually have to draw a sword, cut thru the vines, and begin my trek across the mountains. But as for today - Stillness. Quiet. Peace. I know, in Truth, that our search for a house will continue... I feel that it may take longer than what we had hoped for, but it will be worth the wait. There is no need to bog myself down with worries about it at this time. But prepare myself.

With the classic version of this card, a woman is blindfolded and holding two swords crossed in front of her. She is armed and ready, but she is blindfolded. Does she know and trust that there is no immediate danger? Or are her other senses so acute, like a ninja or Kung-fu Master, that she does not need her eyes to know when it is time to act. Now that's stillness of mind. Check out the classic meaning of this card; http://www.learntarot.com/s2.htm. More specifically, just the first section of the list - denying true feelings, stifling a natural response, keeping another at arm's length, hiding distress, turning a deaf ear, being defensive, maintaining your cool. Now who does this make you think of?

I am also reminded of this conversation about meditation between a man and Kwai Chang Caine (David Carradine) in the t.v. series "Kung Fu";

KCC: (He is shooting a bow and arrow at a target, in the black of the night). I do not do archery for killing.

Man: What do you use it as?

KCC: A form of meditation.

Man: Meditation? What do you think about?

KCC: I think of nothing. But to be one with the target.

Man: You think I’m going to believe that? How can you see what you are shootin at in the dark?

KCC: Watch my eyes (He turns his eyes away before he shoots, and hits the target).

Man: How’d you do that?

KCC: I do not do it. It is not done.

Man: What do you mean ‘It’s not done?’

KCC: It is only experienced. It happens.

Man: Happens?

KCC: The pole (target), the arrow, the bow are one. Not many things. Not different things. One.

Man: Well, I see it. But I sure don’t understand it.

KCC: That is good.

Man: Why is it good?

KCC: It remains a puzzle. When you cease to strive to understand, then you will know without understanding.
(http://kungfu-guide.com/addendum/addendum_tlc.html)

So, Finding this peace and stillness of mind, this detachment from emotion in order to function efficiently and logically - it's not such a bad thing. I tend to think of "Emotional Detachment" as a negative thing - but in some cases, those emotions just turn into fears, and fears just hold you back. So, lastly, decided to pull out my trust Housewives Tarot, to see how I can apply this to my housewifely duties today around the house.

The Guidebook (by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum, Quirk publications) has this to say;

"Like Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws, life can be full of conflicts. As the blindfolded woman illustrates, it is important to remain impartial when stalemates occur. The Two of Swords reminds us that it is seemingly opposing tastes - like cranberry sauce and green bean casserole - that make life more delicious. After all, if no one wanted the dark meat, there wouldn't be enough light meat to go around."

Our housewife is getting ready to carve the turkey - blindfolded. She is trusting that it is cooked to perfection, and arming herself for the critique she knows will come from those in laws - whether it is cooked perfectly or not. In true Kung-Fu style, she knows that you can't please everyone; the only person you can truly look out for is yourself. And blindfolded, she can experience the carving of the turkey, trusting that it will happen as it is meant to happen.

Hangover, Housekeeping, Temperance and Quan Yin

I was coming here to write about my day, and to post about my Daily Draw. On signing in I looked thru my list of blogs and read this blog about the goddess Quan Yin. So my focus has changed a little tonite, as my mind often does.

Last night (Sunday night) I went out to a party with some friends from work. I had a great time and it was a much needed time away from my apartment and my kids. I got pretty drunk, and in a way, I think needed that too! I did smoke cigarettes while I was drunk - my conviction to quit smoking seemed to melt away after my second Cranberry Juice and Watermelon Vodka. But it's not such a bad thing. Now I know where one of my weaknesses lies. And today, I was right back to being a non-smoker again. Easy-Peasy-Lemon-Squeeezy! WoooHooo for day 11!

Anyways, somehow even with my hangover, I managed to get the house back in shape again. At first, this morning I was rather miffed... I mean the house was a disaster! All it took was ONE DAY of me not being here picking up after everyone, and it was a total wreck! I'm gonna be talking to the hubby and kids about this one! But I pulled a tarot card for the day, and I got "Temperance". I thought about it for awhile, and realized that my standards and expectations are my own, and how can my family know what they are if I don't tell them? And in order to reach a fair compromise, I have to be compassionate and understanding. So rather than running around huffing and puffing and making my hangover worse, I calmly took my time cleaning up the mess, sending loving vibes in my thoughts to my husband every time I found myself feeling pissed off again. I still haven't talked to him about it yet, but I am trying to choose my words carefully so that he knows I come from a place of love not anger. I am a firm believer that "nagging" rarely solves anything and should be reserved for desperate times. At least, that's how it works in my marriage!! So I got myself thru the day with "Temperance" as my Mantra. A nice balance of anger and love gave me motivation, while a nice balance of working and resting gave me the power to get it all done. "Everything in Moderation" is a lesson of Temperance, and this also helped me to not feel guilty about drinking and smoking last night. Because I did smoke again does not mean I have failed at quitting smoking, and I cant judge myself (remember number 3 from my previous blog; Healing My Life part 1?) Lesson Learned, moving on.

So then I saw this blog about Quan Yin. I love these Goddess of the Week posts, they are really inspiring. This one really caught my attention. I think that we could all use a little Mercy and Compassion in our lives. It caught my attention because it seemed like this is what I learned from Temperance today. I wanted to be angry at my husband and kids for not having the same standards of cleanliness around the house as I do. But Quan Yin - she waits at the Gates of Nirvana for all of us. She could enter and enjoy this peace herself, but she waits, probably gaining more peace of mind just knowing that eventually we can all join this place together. I wasn't always concerned with blessing my family with a clean, organized, home. I came to this place myself, and I was helped along the way by friends. But if I hadn't begun to care about myself, to really love myself, I never would have started caring about my home. So my earlier thoughts were confirmed; rather than nag or bitch at my husband, I can tell him what would make me happy, and I can love him. I can continue to bless my home and my family, and wait for him to accept the love. It's the same with my children. Rather than focusing on teaching them how to clean their rooms and clear the table, the focus should be on learning how to love themselves, love their family, and love their home. The rest will fall into place.

Speaking of my kids, Miss Zee's "dad" has been calling again. She enjoys talking to him, but it drives me nuts. How long will it be before he stops calling her again? And then the questions will start again. I think after this many years, she is starting to cope with he disappointment. But that's just the thing. A 10 year old girl shouldn't have to know how to deal with disappointment and feelings of abandonment and rejection. There's this song by Celia called "Quan Yin"... last year at the Pagan Pride festival we heard this song performed live; we were right up front and Celia kept looking me and my daughter in the eyes while she sang. The lyrics hit home, and I was holding Miss Zee in my arms and tears were streaming down my cheeks. always think of Quan Yin not only as the Goddess of Compassion, but the defender of innocents.

Song Lyrics to the song "Quan Yin" by Celia. http://www.celiaonline.com/lyrics/quanyin.htm I love this song, it makes me cry. It's about a woman who has a daughter, and the father has been in jail. She moved on, has a new husband, and has raised her daughter, when suddenly the "father" is out of jail and wants to come back into her life; and into the child's life. The mother is full of fear and anger and resentment towards this man, the system etc. She calls upon Quan Yin to give her strength, courage, compassion, and Peace Within. She prays that she will be able to teach her daughter to strive for these things as well.

May you all have a week blessed by Quan Yin and sprinkled with Temperance! Blessed Be!!


http://margaretfinnegan.blogspot.com/ (the Goddess of the Week blog)

Chakra Clearing; Quitting Smoking, Day 1

Finally, I have become resolute in my decision to quit smoking. Thanks to my New Moon meditation I was finally able to say, "Yes. Okay. I'm going to quit NOW" rather than "Someday soon."
I had a moment of prayer the other night, asking for help and guidance. I felt an amazing sense of peace and strength rising up inside of me. I knew that rather than asking the Universe to help me quit smoke, I needed to instead ask the Universe to send me signals to remind me of my own strength and power. Rather than asking for help to quit, I only needed to ask for Support while I quit. I have been studying the chakras for quite some time, but seem to keep running into blocks when I get to the Second Chakra; the home of desires and addictions. I picked up the book "Chakras for beginners" by David Pond and was inspired by this paragraph about dealing with addictions and balancing the Sacral Chakra;
"The Second Chakra grasps for whatever brings pleasure and these experiences habituate very easily. Sex, alcohol, tobacco, chocolate, and the sensation of drugs; all are Second Chakra, and all are very habit forming. The lure of the habit overcomes the individual trapped in this center, and the thought of pleasure drives one to indulge. When you are in the habit ode of this center, you are attempting to recreate a pleasure you remembered from the past. This obviously cannot lead to fulfillment, as it is missing the immediacy of the moment by looking to the past. Quitting any indulgence rarely works. What is pushed down, grows stronger. Taking part in the indulgence, while simultaneously staying aware, is the antidote."
I took this message to heart, and all day yesterday I was aware of every sensation I had while I was smoking. This revealed to me a couple very important things. 1) I do not enjoy smoking anymore. I couldn't identify any pleasure, except for the release of feeling like I had finally caught something I had been chasing... but once I had it, there was no real pleasure. 2) I did enjoy the time when I smoke as a time to step back from my day. I found myself catching up with my thoughts and plans, remembering tasks I had forgotten, finding inspiration. But I also realized that I can take these moments for myself without a cigarette.
So, after spending my day being aware of my sensations, being aware of what causes me pleasure and what does not, I found that by the end of the day, I didn't even want t smoke any more. I crushed my last 4 cigarettes, and got ready for bed, resolute that I had just smoked my last cigarette!!
I decided to give myself an Oracle Card reading. I wanted to see what further advice or support I could get from the Universe. I decided to use my Archangel Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. As I shuffled the cards, I asked God to reveal to me what Angels he has sent to help me as I quit smoking, and what message these Angels have for me. I drew three cards; here they are-

Archangel Metatron: Chakra Clearing
I had to laugh out loud. I mean, it was my study of the chakras and my desire to balance and cleanse my chakras which lead me to this point, after all!! Yes, how very appropriate!! The card says "Call upon me to clear and open your chakras, using sacred geometric shapes." above the picture of the angel on the card there is the Geometric Shape associated with The Tree of Life. Each energy point feeds into another... I know that Metatron will help me find balance, and that by quitting smoking I will be able to achieve more inner balance which will reflect onto my outer life as well.

Archangel Jeremiel: Overcoming Difficulties
A picture of an angel with great white wings like an eagle is soaring away over a mountaintop. Of course, in my mind, the task of quitting smoking is a big, hard, scary thing. This card reminds me that I do have the inner power to overcome whatever I set my mind to. From the ground, I am sure that mountain looks huge and foreboding. From the sky, soaring with Angels, it looks beautiful, not scary at all - and all I have to do is simply set my sights beyond it and fly over it! The card says "The worst is now behind you, and you are surmounting any previous challenges." Making the decision is often the hardest step of a journey, and I have already made that first step. Now I just have to trust in my own abilities, and trust that I have all the help and love of the Universe to help me.

Archangel Metatron: Indigo and Crystal Children
Of course, my children! What better gift can I give to them than the gift of my own health? What better way to help my children than to have my own energy cleared and free? I can turn to them for help and inspiration, and in turn I will find my greatest strength of all!! The card says "You have a bond with children. In particular, you can help children who are sensitive." Of course, I have been wanting to be a better mom, more patient, more understanding. (Read previous blog - My Lunar Self) Once I free myself of the bonds of addiction and allow myself to clear my Sacral Chakra, I can move on to the other chakras and become a more balanced individual, and more easily find my place as a mother and guide for my children!

My first day without smoking has gone surprisingly well. I have been using the nicorette gum to help curb my cravings, and have kept myself busy with cleaning house and playing with the kids. I have still let myself step outside twice to do some deep breathing and refocus my thoughts and energies. But I'm feeling really confident and happy!! The true test will be when my husband comes home with his cigarettes. I will tell him that I have quit and hope that he is able to support me and keep his temptation away from me if he continues to smoke. I am sure he will be supportive, it is my own strength that will be tested. But I will have Metatron and Jeremiel here by my side to remind me to stay strong!!