Friday, September 11, 2009

8 years later. In memorandum.

In Loving Memory of all those who were lost, and in Honor of those who worked so hard to rescue and help the missing, trapped, and injured....

Blessed Be.....

(this is a very touching memorial video)

Where were YOU when the attacks happened?

Sept. 11, 2001. I was 21 years old, my daughter, "Miss Zee", was 2. We were living in Texas, I was a waitress at the local Denny's. I was in a relationship, but it was going nowhere fast. I was unhappy and knew it wouldn't last. We were just waking up, I didn't have a tv, so we had no idea what had happened. My x husband called me, and I was irritated to hear his voice. He said "They bombed the World Trade Center". I laughed. Yes, I laughed, I am ashamed to admit it, but I didn't know what he was talking about. I was still half asleep, could't figure out who "They" were, and didn't know what he meant by "World Trade Center." I guess I was always kinda shut off from society in some way, because I honestly did not know that the Twin Towers were called "The World Trade Center". So I figured my x husband was telling me about something that had happened in another country. Because stuff like that happens in other countries, but not here. So I was like, "Umm, okay. Why are you calling me? I just woke up." As if my x-husband didn't already think I was a cold-hearted bitch. He says, "No, I mean it, they bombed the World Trade Center." My blonde moment continued...."Where is that?"
"New York! The Twin Towers! It's on the TV! COME OVER HERE!"
Everything stopped. I went cold. The rest of the day was cold. The rest of the day was in slow motion. Nothing that I cared about before really seemed to matter.... I forgot about how unsatisfying my relationship was. I forgot about how much I hated my x-husband. I forgot about how annoying my job was. Watching the towers fall again and again on TV, listening to them explain what happened as they figured it out. Hearing the words "Al Queida" and "Taliban" for the first time. Confusion. Fear. Looking up at the sky, wondering if more would die today. Looking up at the sky, and wondering if we are going to war, if the war would be on American turf. Wondering how much our lives would change, how much our country would change. Frozen in time, tears and words stuck in my throat; neither came out for a long time.

A few days later, my boyfriend and I broke up. He took his car and drove back to Oklahoma. I wasn't upset. It had been over before he left. It had been over before the towers fell. I somehow felt like the timing was symbolic. America had been shaken awake by a catastrophe, and was now stronger, more alert, more aware of it's priorities as a nation, and ready to rebuild. I felt the same way. I didn't want to waste any more time on trivial relationships. I had gone thru so much in the previous two years, and I felt like I was finally ready to take my life seriously again, to start building something meaningful rather than just playing in the rubble and ashes. Ironically enough, I began dating again a week later. September 18. We have been together ever since. We ended up getting married in 2003, and having two more kids together. Over the past 8 years, America has had to make a lot of choices, change, move forward, and grow up. So have I.

1 comment:

  1. Wow..that was an amazing post Wendy! Thank you for sharing. I was at work & my bosses were scheduled to fly home from a conference in Florida. They were at the airport when word came down...I will NEVER forget the way I felt that day. I will NEVER forget that day still breaks my heart.