Sunday, August 30, 2009

Onward & Upward!

So I'm thinking about this upcoming week and what kind of goals I'd like to set for myself. I know I'd like to have a more motivated attitude this week, but it's not always something I can just conjure at will. But, as of right now I am feeling pretty confident that I will have the energy and motivation that I was lacking last week.

It's the start of the third week with the girls back in school; Mister X and I are feeling more adjusted to the daily routine and I think I'm ready to add something new to the daily routine for now; Preschool Time for Mister X!! No, he is not going to preschool!! But, he is almost four, and I think it would be good for him to spend at least 30 minutes a day with mommy, learning things like shapes, colors, numbers, and letters. He's a pretty smart little cookie and I think he will enjoy doing some "school stuff with mommy" each day. I already have some work books & stuff, I just want to get some ink for my printer so I can print off some stuff I might find online.

I want to stick to my daily cleaning routines and try to have my list done daily - I know if I stick with it and don't get distracted or lazy I can have it done by 1:00 every day. Also - it will help me if I do my Bedtime Routine every night, it means my cleaning the next day will already be started or caught up and in the long run it will save me time! This is also the FlyLady Habit of the Month for September so I'll be working on that all month till it becomes habit!!

FlyLady's Zone this week is back to Zone 1; The Front Porch, Front Entrance, and Dining Room. (for my Fellow FlyBabies you will understand what I am talking about next, for those of you who don't follow FlyLady just hang in there a second!!) So, I have come to realize that in Zone 1 I don't have any more decluttering to do. It's all decluttered! That means that (with this Zone at least) it's time to move on to DETAILING!! Not that I need a new project, but if I have the time & energy to take something on, FlyLady has a list of some Detail Cleaning Projects here; It's a really neat feeling to be moving on to this stage. Although other parts of my home are still in the De-Cluttering phase, just moving on in this one area gives me such a sense of accomplishment!

So these are my main goals for the week;
To Spend 30 minutes a day doing Pre-School stuff with Mr. X
To Work on Detail Cleaning Zone 1
To do my daily routines & daily cleaning
To do my Bedtime Routine every night

I decided to draw a couple cards from The Housewives Tarot and see what Advice I have to carry me thru the week; Body, Mind & Spirit

I got;
Body -The Star
Mind - Ace of Swords
Spirit - Queen of Cups

Body (My Advice for the Physical realm) - The Star. Looks like when it comes to my physical being I am in the limelight and can celebrate my success. This card can also represent creative energy and inspiration from spiritual sources - I think in this case it is reminding me that my home & my body (my physical world) are things that I should take pride in and if I am creative and connected to my spirituality, will find the energy and inspiration I need to succeed.

Mind - (My Advice for the Mental Realm) - Ace of Swords - this card is the Epitome of Mental Force, it represents the will and drive of the mind to cut thru any confusion, get straight to the point, to discover the truth. It is the Strength to Overcome using the power of one's mind, logic, and truth. In other words, I CAN do whatever I set my mind to! I must not let things like emotion, doubt, fear, frustration, etc. get in the way of me being able to see the truth of the matter; which is my own willpower. I am reminded of what Louise L. Hay says; "All we are ever dealing with is thought, and thought can be changed!"

Spirit - (My Advice for the Spiritual Realm) Queen of Cups - this Queen is the Emotional, Feminine, Introspective matriarch of the suit of Cups; where all matters of the heart reside. While my advice for the mental realm is more about logic and the power of thought, I feel that this card is telling me that my Spirit needs and craves some emotional release, some introspection, and I must not neglect that side of myself as well. I think it will do me some good (as always) to make sure I take time for pampering, spirituality, and even a cocktail or two with a girlfriend this week, my Spirit needs the pampering and fun. But this card can also serve as a warning because while the Spirit has needs, this Queen is the type who will neglect her other obligations while she wallows in her emotions or obsesses over her feelings & romances.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

2 of Swords - Kung Fu peace-of-mind

Last night we went to look at a potential house. Our realtor has been putting in offers left and right, and we are just hoping to not be outbid. We haven't gone to see every single house she has put an offer on - why get our hopes up? Instead we are waiting till an offer is accepted, then going to look at the house and see if we will take it or not. It's really exciting to hear that an offer has been accepted; we take the 40 minute drive thinking, praying, maybe this is the one! Alas, once again, a disappointment. It is rather small, two of the "Four" bedrooms are a combined room with a divider between them - you can hardly really call it one bedroom - much less two. The "Fourth Bedroom" is totally detached from the house, like they turned the storage shed into another room; this is not going to work for our young family of five! So we turned it down and drove back to our apartment.

For the most part, I am staying positive. I am just trying to trust that the right house for us will turn up, trusting that there is a divine plan and purpose behind everything. I'm not feeling super-motivated today, but I'm not feeling apathetic or "down" either. I'm just here, wondering how to go about my day. So I decided to draw a card.

Since I was already at my computer, I just went to Aeclectic Tarot to use their free electronic tarot reading section. While I don't always trust the electronic readings (there is something lost when you count only on card meanings and leave out the empathy and intuitiveness of an actual reader) - I have still found these electronic readings to be quite helpful from time to time.

Today I got the Two of Swords;

While the classic meaning of this card sometimes relates to some internal mental struggle, opposing views, conflicts, etc, I found the meanings given here to be more aligned to what I am feeling. Peace. Huh. That's interesting....yes. I DO feel at Peace. Strange. Just like on the card (shown at the above link) - I know that there my be struggles and challenges ahead. I will eventually have to draw a sword, cut thru the vines, and begin my trek across the mountains. But as for today - Stillness. Quiet. Peace. I know, in Truth, that our search for a house will continue... I feel that it may take longer than what we had hoped for, but it will be worth the wait. There is no need to bog myself down with worries about it at this time. But prepare myself.

With the classic version of this card, a woman is blindfolded and holding two swords crossed in front of her. She is armed and ready, but she is blindfolded. Does she know and trust that there is no immediate danger? Or are her other senses so acute, like a ninja or Kung-fu Master, that she does not need her eyes to know when it is time to act. Now that's stillness of mind. Check out the classic meaning of this card; More specifically, just the first section of the list - denying true feelings, stifling a natural response, keeping another at arm's length, hiding distress, turning a deaf ear, being defensive, maintaining your cool. Now who does this make you think of?

I am also reminded of this conversation about meditation between a man and Kwai Chang Caine (David Carradine) in the t.v. series "Kung Fu";

KCC: (He is shooting a bow and arrow at a target, in the black of the night). I do not do archery for killing.

Man: What do you use it as?

KCC: A form of meditation.

Man: Meditation? What do you think about?

KCC: I think of nothing. But to be one with the target.

Man: You think I’m going to believe that? How can you see what you are shootin at in the dark?

KCC: Watch my eyes (He turns his eyes away before he shoots, and hits the target).

Man: How’d you do that?

KCC: I do not do it. It is not done.

Man: What do you mean ‘It’s not done?’

KCC: It is only experienced. It happens.

Man: Happens?

KCC: The pole (target), the arrow, the bow are one. Not many things. Not different things. One.

Man: Well, I see it. But I sure don’t understand it.

KCC: That is good.
Man: Why is it good?
KCC: It remains a puzzle. When you cease to strive to understand, then you will know without understanding.

So, Finding this peace and stillness of mind, this detachment from emotion in order to function efficiently and logically - it's not such a bad thing. I tend to think of "Emotional Detachment" as a negative thing - but in some cases, those emotions just turn into fears, and fears just hold you back. So, lastly, decided to pull out my trust Housewives Tarot, to see how I can apply this to my housewifely duties today around the house.

The Guidebook (by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum, Quirk publications) has this to say;
"Like Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws, life can be full of conflicts. As the blindfolded woman illustrates, it is important to remain impartial when stalemates occur. The Two of Swords reminds us that it is seemingly opposing tastes - like cranberry sauce and green bean casserole - that make life more delicious. After all, if no one wanted the dark meat, there wouldn't be enough light meat to go around."

Our housewife is getting ready to carve the turkey - blindfolded. She is trusting that it is cooked to perfection, and arming herself for the critique she knows will come from those in laws - whether it is cooked perfectly or not. In true Kung-Fu style, she knows that you can't please everyone; the only person you can truly look out for is yourself. And blindfolded, she can experience the carving of the turkey, trusting that it will happen as it is meant to happen.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Should or Could?

Time for some more soul-searching and bearing my soul open for all to see. I am journaling today from an excersize from the book; "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. I posted this as a Journaling excersize at "Journal Yourself Awake" - please come check it out! Even if you don't post your results publicly in a blog - try out this journaling excersize it is really amazing!

Should Or Could?

I Should.....
* I Should Have a cleaner house.
* I Should be 100% smoke-free by now.
* I Should be more patient with my kids.
* I should be more ambitious when it comes to work and money.
* I should spend my time more wisely.

Why Should I?
* Why should I have a cleaner house? Because my mom's house was always cleaner than this. Because I'm embarrassed and worried about what others would say. Because I should be more organized. (Look - another "Should"!)
* Why Should I be 100% smoke-free by now? Because it's been 32 days and I need to get serious about quitting smoking! Because I should have more self-control, I need to be more strict with myself! ( Look - another "Should" - and some self-punishing thoughts as well!)
* Why should I be more patient with my kids? If I lose my temper too often they will never trust me or love me. I should be a more loving mother. (In other words, I don't feel like I am a loving mother, and when I say "I Should be more patient with my kids", I am actually saying to myself, "I am not patient or loving enough, and I don't deserve their love.")
* Why should I be more ambitious when it comes to work and money? I am almost 30 I should be doing something with my life other than waitressing. I need to be making more money. (says who? I'm happy doing what I do, and being rich isn't a goal of mine - only being happy is!)
* Why should I be spending my time more wisely? Because life is short. I have so much to get done, and not enough time. ( those sound like answers based on fear, or words that ther people use)

If I really Wanted to I Could...
If I really wanted to I could have a cleaner house.
If I really wanted to I could be 100% smoke-free right now.
If I really wanted to I could be more patient with my kids.
If I really wanted to I could be more ambitious when it comes to work and money.
If I really wanted to I could spend my time more wisely.

.... wow... I feel better already!

Why haven't I?
*Why haven't I made my house cleaner? Well, actually, it's pretty clean. I'm sure there are places a lot worse than mine. It's crowded, and it's Lived In! My whole idea of needin it to be cleaner comes from fear of other's judgements. But if I just lesten to myself and not those other voices, It's not bad. It's healthy.
* Why haven't I completley quit smoking? Because I enjoy my 1 cigarette every night before bed. Because quitting cold-turkey hasn't worked for me in the past, I am trying something different. I am letting myself indulge and rather than punishing myself for it I am trying to learn more about my cravings and addiction, and go slowly. I know when Iam ready, I will be totally able to give up that 1 cig. a day. I am not failing, and I don't need to be punished.
* Why haven't I been more patient wth my kids? Because I need to learn better communcation skills. Because who can be patient with 3 crazy kids? Am I being too hard on myself? Perhaps it's just me being too hard on myself as a parent that is manifesting as problems with them!
* Why haven't I been more ambitious about work and money? Because I am happy doing what I do. Because I am afraid to try something different - afraid that I might fail.
* Why haven't I spent my time more wisely? Because I don't know how. Because I'm afraid there isn't enough time.

.... This was very revealing, and yes, very healing for me. Just recognizing my thought patterns and acknowledging them will help me to begin to change them from negative to positive. And I am going to stop using the word "Should" and replace it with the word "Could".. how about you?? Don't forget to check out the original post for some more insights on this concept and from the book!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Message in a Bottle

the Message in a Bottle Meme

This week Mimi Pencilskirt, Queen of Memes, asks us to put a message in a bottle and send it out to sea.

here are her orders;

"Somewhere in a faraway bloggiverse on an island with a palm tree swaying in the breeze, a message bottle sits side by side with a Pina Colada and a cute little striped umbrella horizontally tilted in the beachy sand.
Did YOUR bottle make it to land? Have you checked lately? There are now 285 bottles floating in
the bloggy ocean just waiting to be mysteriously delivered to a tropical island near you. It's time you added yours!
Here are the rules:
You are about to send a virtual Message In a Bottle across the Blog Ocean.
Leave a message in the sand or on the bottle. Write anything you wish. Be a pirate or a poet. Serious or silly. Rant or ruminate.
Anonymous or not.What message would you like to send out to the universe?
Message In A Bottle Meme"

1. Compose a message to place in your virtual bottle below.
It can even be ANONYMOUS message.
I will not reveal your identity.

2. Right click and Save the graphic below

3. Use a graphics program of your choice to place the message on the picture

4. Post the meme and these rules on your blog

6. Tag a minimum of five people - or your entire blogroll - to do the same. Notify them of the tag.

Your virtual bottle will remain afloat in the blogosphere ocean for all blogernity (That's a Mimism for blog + eternity.)I will add it to the master list of message bottles when you let me know you've completed the meme.
I will also add it to
Message In a Bottle blog with a link back to you. "

I don't know why Queen Mimi left out number 5 in her directions to us. Perhaps it is a secret message, perhaps it is something we have to decode? Nonetheless I will do my best to follow directions!

After thinking awhile, I decided I would put a Tarot Card and an affirmation in my bottle to send afloat. Whoever finds it will be the one for whom the message of the card was intended :o)

* more on the Ace of Swords -

tagging? Oh I suppose... I can't leave out number 6, although our Queen can apparently leave out whatever numbers she wishes!

Jai at a Witch's Tale:,
Slothwomyn at snapshots of a spiral path,
CaramelBliss at College Mama Dorkiness
Nikki at 23Flavors
BlackenedPhoenix at The Domestic Witch

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Manic Monday... Look me in the eye and answer me these questions three...

What is the first thing you notice about people?
Their eyes and their smile. More specifically; if they make eye contact and if they smile. I don't know why, but I have always been an eye contact type of person; and it bugs me that most people, in passing, won't make eye contact with others. As I pass people in the grocery store, on the sidewalk, etc, I tend to look at their faces, waiting for eye contact and a smile. It's just how it should be. But most of the time I will notice people actually consciously casting their eyes away. God forbid you have to briefly look a stranger in the eye - what if she smiles - OMG you're gonna have to smile back!! It's not hard. Try it!! Okay, now that I have gone off on a complete tangent here.... the first thing I notice about people is whether or not they will make eye contact and smile at me. Because if they don't - well it tells me a lot about them, ~or~ if they do - it tells me even more!

What song always makes you happy when you hear it?
"Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics. Yezzz. I freaking LOVE that song and will turn the speakers full blast, dance, and sing along, EVERY time I hear it.

What fashion trend do you just not get?
Almost all of them. LOL! Seriously - what is up with those HUGE sunglasses? And why on Earth do you need a purse that cost $500.00 and just has a bunch of letter "C"'s all over it? Unless your name starts with a C, there's just no point in it! Oh yeah - other than showing off the fact that you have money to blow lining the pockets of some rich designer company. If a lady walks past me with a huge designer purse, huge designer sunglasses on top of her head, doesn't make eye contact and doesn't smile at me - I'm going to assume she is a stuck up bitch. And I try not to judge people on appearances. I might go lenient on my judgement if she is jamming out to the Eurythmics on her iPod, though.

wanna play?

FlyLady; Cleaning Guru or Spiritual Advisor?

FlyLady; Cleaning Guru or Spiritual Advisor? BOTH!!

Sometimes I want to give up, I mean; A Housewive's Work is never done! So even if I have the house spotless today, I'll do it all again tomorrow and the next day, and the next day, and the next day....
Did you read yesterday's blog? My Weekly Housewive's Report shows how dispondent I have been feeling. I keep feeling like I "Should" be able to get more done, I should have a perfect home by now, I should have more time for myself, etc. I was really beggining to wallow in my self pity, and having quite a fun time of it too! I logged onto my facebook to play FarmTown and enjoy my laziness and on my wall was a recent post from the Flyady FaceBook Fan Page;

5 Steps to Make It Easier by The FlyLady, Marla Cilley

Music has a way of seeping into your brain and staying dormant for decades. This week I had another lyric come to me out of the depths of my subconscious, “O-O-H child things are going to be easier”! Isn’t it strange how those simple words can give us such hope!

I looked up the full lyrics and there are only the chorus and one verse. It is repeated like an affirmation. Then as the song concluded it said, right now! Isn’t that the way all of us feel. We want things easier right now!

How do we accomplish this? We don’t have mystical powers where we can just wiggle our noses and see the results of our wishes. We have to do more than just wish. So many times we get so stuck in our whining that we do not see that we have the ability to make our desires happen.
We deceive ourselves into thinking that it is too hard, will take too long and that we don’t have time! This is nothing but our perfectionism causing us to procrastinate. When we say we don’t have time we should really just finish the sentence; I don’t have time to do it right. Why can’t we talk ourselves into doing things instead of wallowing in self-pity? I think it is because we forgot that we have the power.

As I was looking up this song I noticed that it was sung by a group of young boys in 1970. Their name was The Five Stairsteps. Their name got me to thinking about a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He said, “To take the first step in faith, you don’t have to see the whole staircase: just take the first step.” This got me to thinking about the 5 steps that you could take to make your life easier.

Step 1: It all starts with getting up from your seated position and walking into your kitchen; then shining your sink. No whining allowed! Just step out in faith! That sink will make you smile tomorrow morning. You can even allow your perfectionism to have a little fun. When I got organized I shined our old sink till it looked like a brand new penny! It gave me hope!

Step 2: Write down and follow a simple Before Bed Routine; check your calendar for appointments, lay out your clothes for tomorrow, put items you need to take with you in your launch pad and go to sleep at a decent hour. No staying up too late. Get your rest and you will not feel so tired and rushed! This will make your life easier.

Step 3: Keep your morning routine in your bathroom. This way you can just do and not have to think. As soon as my feet hit the floor I start dancing through my day: Make my bed, shower, swish and swipe my bathroom, get dressed to lace up shoes, eat breakfast and take my vitamins. See how smooth this flows. You can’t sit down and turn on your computer till your routine is done. This way you do it fast! Then you get to give yourself a reward!

Step 4: Use a calendar that the whole family can see! Not just your cell phone or computer. Get a calendar that is big enough to hold all your family’s activities. This way you are teaching your children how to live a stress free life. A cluttered calendar means no time for you! Make appointments with yourself and with your children. Once a week sit down with your family and synchronize your personal calendars. Write stuff on the calendar as soon as you get it. No waiting till later. You always have time to make an entry in your calendar.

Step 5: Use a timer to help keep you focused! You can do anything for 15 minute or even two minutes. Just set your timer and see what you can get done. You don’t have finish; you just have to do something. Especially when you say you don’t have time! Set your timer and do two minutes. You will be surprised at what can get done!

These steps will get you moving and the crowning touch is your attitude. Be kind to yourself! FLYing is all about self-respect. You have to quit being mean to yourself! Let go of your perfectionism. You have been beaten down your whole life because you weren’t perfect. You don’t have to be. You are worth loving just the way you are!
If you will step out in faith and take these five simple babysteps you will be singing a new song. O-O-Child things are easier right now!

This was just what I needed to hear. My perfectionism, my ideas of what "Should" be - were creating doubt and stress!! It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be hard, and as long as I keep doing the little things I shouldn't get bogged down! I was also reminded to think positive, use affirmations, and celebrate life with music; things that I know are important spiritually. Why is it that I sometimes forget that I can apply my spiritual knowledge to the "mundane" areas of my life, like cleaning my house?
Anyways, I just wanted to share. Because sometimes, even though I feel like a bit of a sap for being obsessed with FlyLady and her house-cleaning tips and routines, sometimes... her advice does more for me than just help me get organized. It could be a religion! LOL!! Or at least a spiritual philosophy!! Just think; so many of the FlyLady's ideas can be applied to more than just housekeeping!! "I can do anything in 15 minutes", "Taking Babysteps", not being "perfectionist", and simplifying your life by "Decluttering" - letting go of the things in your life that do not bless you or make you happy.
So now, I'm gonna go shine my sink, and we'll see where I go from there!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Weekly Housewife's Report 8/21/09

I can't believe it's the end of the week already! For that matter, I can't believe it's the end of the month already!! Where did it go? How can it already be almost September???
What's New?
This week was a time of adjusting to the new back-to-school routines. Miss Zee started 5th grade and Princess A is repeating Kindergarten. (Long story short; she had barley turned 5 when starting K last year, and was struggling, so we felt it would be best for her in the long run if she repeated. She just turned 6 at the beginning of the month, so she is still in the K age bracket, and hopefully this year she can catch on to the concepts and gain some confidence!)
So now that school is back in session, my weekdays consist of more walking. We live close enough to the school that the girls don't ride the bus - and once the summer heat ends the walking is not all that bad. But for now - it's hell. By 8:30 in the morning it is already in the mid 90's, and by 3:00 pm when they get out of school it s been averaging 105. Poor Little Mr. X, I have to drag him along with me on these walks!! By Friday he informed me "I am tired of this!" Sigh.... and no end in sight!! (My Hubby works on the other side of town, and we only have 1 car) On the up side, the girls seem to have had a great first week of school, they like their teachers and have already made new friends!! So it's not all bad. I don't mean to sound so negative.
I have been sticking to my FlyLady routines, and in the area of housework I have been doing pretty good! I have been managing to keep the house clean, do my Zone Work, Daily Cleaning projects, etc. I should feel proud of myself. This week's Zone was the Bathroom - and my bathroom is pretty well decluttered and organized. As I said, I should feel proud of myself, but I just feel tired. I feel like the end of this week is the end of a long, anti-climactic movie.
I haven't really been blogging (as some of you have noticed). I think there are two reasons for this; 1 - I have been really busy since school is back in session, getting used to the routines and working, etc. 2 - I haven't felt like myself. I don't feel like I have had anything positive to say, so I just haven't been writing. I don't know why I'm in this funk - maybe it's just because I'm tired and stressed. I try to stay positive but I just haven't been able to find my Happy Place this week. Once again I am trying to figure out how to add in some "me time" and still get everything done. My schedule has been; Walk the kids to school, come home and clean house, walk to pick up the kids, Go to work, Sleep, repeat. I have tried to take time to relax, but I don't feel like it's the kind of quality Me Time that I need and crave. I am craving some true fun, or at least some spiritual enlightenment, but can't seem to find the time for either of those. I am hoping that all I need is some time to adjust to the new schedule and I will bounce back.

the kids are fighting and Miss Zee is sick and wants some tea and her mommy, so I will stop whining now....

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Addiction & Recovery

Reposted from my CafeMom journal....

As most of my friends know, I am currently going thru the journey of quitting smoking. I'm on day 21, though I can't yet say I'm completely smoke-free. I'm taking baby steps and considering that I have been an off-again, on-again heavy smoker for over 10 years, 1 cigarette a day is huge progress for me! This time around I am taking time to learn about myself and heal myself as I go, not punishing myself for my nightly indulgence, but learning, growing. Baby steps.

What most of my friends don't know is that giving up cigarettes is, to me, the final step of my recovery as an addict. Perhaps it's been a smoke-screen, perhaps a coping-mechanism, or perhaps the last physical vice that I've held onto years after letting go of the other drugs. Most of my friends don't know this, but I am a recovering drug addict. This is going on my 9th year drug-free. I am astonished and proud that it has been that long. In December of this year, it will be 9 years since I have touched any Meth or Cocaine. The quitting smoking has brought back a lot of memories and feelings, and sometimes I just want to run back to the comfort of that smoke-screen; my final addiction. I have realized I will always be an addict; I will always have an addictive personality. And I will always be in some state of recovery. But I've also realized I'm ready to move on, I have realized I am so much stronger, happier, and wiser than I was back then, and I hope that others out there will realize that they are strong and wise too. If I can turn my life around, a complete 180, so can anyone else.

I saw this video to a new song by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, and I guess this is what got me thinking about this today. This is what made me realize I'm almost to year 10..... listen to the words, it's an amazing song. I have tears in my eyes but they are tears of pride and joy. Thankyou to all of my friends, because whether you knew this about me or not, your friendships are what keep me going each day....

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Slowing Down

It's that time of month again, the time I need to slow down physically and let myself rest. I am still trying to learn, or teach myself, to try to find some enjoyment in my feminine cycles, which can be so hard when it is so painful.... And the Universe seems to be telling me to slow down also, since I have had no Internet for the past 24 hours and now I have a headache of biblical proportions. So, I now allow myself this time of rest. I always feel guilty when I rest.. it's just how I am. So I am using the following affirmations to let myself enjoy my down time....

"There is plenty of time for the things that need to be done."

" I am deserving of quiet time for relaxation and rest."

" I now allow myself time to rest and Heal, physically and spiritually."

on a side note, I downloaded a free paint program from and decided toplay with it.. this is my very first creation...

Monday, August 10, 2009

Let's go in a time machine to Woodstock....

This week for the Queen's Meme we are taking a little trip in Her Majesty's Time Machine. At last, I'm back where I belong!!

The Woodstock Meme
Forty years ago this week, three days of peace, love and rock 'n roll (and mud) happened near Bethel, New York. It was the Summer of 1969.Attire: Hippie jeans. Long hair. Legal or illegal smoke. Psychedelic vibe.
The scene: You are at Woodstock. You go alone but meet up with a beautiful man/woman. You spend three days together.Put yourself inside the peace & love vibe. You can choose to be stoned or straight. I put it in the story for the sake of reality. Just don't inhale in this meme.
This is the conversation you have upon meeting or you can make it into what you overhear others say.
It makes no sense and has no continuity by design.
You must fill in the familiar blanks to finish the story. Some are song lyrics. You may use more than one word to fill in the blanks.
Oh! I forgot to tell you (must be the smoke in here) You have a new name. It must a combination of the first letter of your first name, the third letter of your middle name and the last letter of your last name.Peace out! Somebody might wanna turn on a fan in here.


1. "Hello, my groovy name is Jo-Jo Waffles.
By the looks of those flowers in your hair, you must be the person selling the really good Mushrooms.
Didn't they tell you? No shoes allowed!

2. Come on, Baby, light my Campfire. I can't seem to get it lit, everything is wet and muddy.
When I lay me down to procrastinate I pray the house fairies my dishes to keep.
If I don't clean before I wake, I pray the doctor my prozac to take.
**puff puff**

3. My Queen, Because the first time ever I saw your Meme I realized that what the world needs now is Meme sweet Meme. Besides, I always feel guilty watching you whip the prisoners when I should be tending to something else.... anything else.......
But I dig it!

4. Have I told you lately that I had a dream about you? Hey! Don't step on that Mushroom !!
Dude. That guy is really weird but..... His Aura is kinda turning me on. What? you say that's Jimi? Jimi who?

5. There's a party in my sleeping bag and half a million of my Shaman friends are coming over tonight and we're gonna Dance naked and chant to the Goddess. . Darn the luck. It's raining frogs and fish, as if we weren't already smelly enough! Where's my patchouli?
Luckily, Papa was a rolling Patchouli Salesman and I'm on a first name basis with the cops.
**puff puff**

6. I'm really digging your Aura but that Bible has got to go. Those flowers in your hair are beginning to smell like Jesus.
Have I told you lately that I don't know you?
** puff puff**

7. I'm beginning to see Fairies in those trees over there. Do you see it?
Out of all the millions of hippies here, you are the most transluscent. And you're the only tiny person with wings.
But I dig it, man.
**puff puff**

8. I'd use all my blood, sweat and fuzzy leg hair just to get next to your campfire.
Love is free but I'd really like to buy that guy's Lighter.
It says "Make Flames not Fire. " Far out!

9. I'm grateful to be in this Yellow Submarine 'cause there's a bad Vibe rising in Jefferson's Airplane. But that's okay, 'cause Joe Cocker said I could get by with a little Hope from my friends.

10. Oh, by the way, your Grandma's Hair is on fire. She souldn't have messed with MY grandma like that. "Talk about Hey Now" But I dig it.

This week's Meme was a lot of fun, thanks Queen Mimi! Click the link at the top of the page to see more blogger's posts!

On a totally unrelated side note, if you like Twilight and like to have custom-made sig-tags for your pages, blogs, or forums, check out my friend Jai's Offer of the Week!!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Weekly Housewife's Report 8/8/09

I like to take a little time each week to look back over my accomplishments. I call it my "Weekly Housewife's Report", and it's always evolving and changing, just like me!

Weekly Housewife's Reports for the week of August 2 - 8
Remember the beginning of the week? I went to a party at a bar with some co-workers... so unlike me!! Out of the house, away from the kids, drinking.... it was a much needed and much deserved diversion to stray from my usual life.

So then came Monday, with a bit of a hangover, a really messy house, and a lot of mixed feelings. But I managed to pull myself up and get my home back in order again, which always helps me feel much better! Plus I learned a good lesson about Temperance, balance, and compassion. Hangover, Housekeeping, Temperance and Quan Yin

FlyLady's Zone of the week was the Front Entrance & Dining Room; in my apartment this is probably the easiest zone to conquer. I ended up cleaning up my front entrance pretty good, sweeping, wiping the door inside and out, wiping down the light switches, and organizing the shelf in the dining room. Since this Zone wasn't taking too much time out of my daily cleaning, and I was surprisingly motivated, I dedicated a lot of time each day this week to decluttering in the Kid's Room. ~Gasp!!~ I know - I braved the depths of darkness and barbies and came out o.k.!! I cleaned out under their beds, and decluttered each drawer in their dressers! This involved going thru ALL of their clothes, having "fashion shows" to try everything on and see what fits & what doesn't. All in all, I flung a huge garbage bag of clothes that my 3 kids no longer wear, don' fit, or is just plain too stained or worn out to be counted as clothing anymore. All of this will be donated to a local Shelter. A customer at work donated some clothes to my kids - her grand-daughters are about the same size as mine, just a little bigger and they had a lot of stuff they outgrew over the summer; so my kids made out quite nicely!! So we tried on all of these and refilled their dresser drawers with "new" clothes - just in time for school!! Thank goodness for friends and blessings, that kind gesture saved me so much; I had been worried about sending the girls back to school in their clothes from last year! No Worries!!

I'm so proud of the fact that I finally got into the kid's room and gave it a good decluttering! It's something I have been putting off. Speaking of putting things off, I made a new page for my Online Control Journal this week (It's a FlyLady thing) - it's called Anti-Procrastination Day and now I have some goals for getting those things done that I always seem to put off!

Another great accomplishment this week was in the realm of House-Hunting. We are so ready to get out of this apartment and into a home we can call our own! We spent a few hours looking at prospective homes on the market and put some offers out there!! So cross your fingers, say a prayer, or light a candle, I know the right house will come to us soon!!

Friday was Princess A's Birthday! I can hardly believe that she is already SIX years old!! For this week's Thursday's 13, I did a photo essay of sorts dedicated to these amazing 6 years; Thursday's 13 - Princess A turns 6! Daddy took her out to see Ice Age 3, and she LOVED it!! Plus she got to spend special time with her daddy; something that is too rare since he works SO MUCH!! We are having a small party for her tomorrow, so we are all pretty excited about that!!

As far as taking time for myself this week, I took a "day off" from cleaning on Thursday, mostly because I didn't feel good. But the extra sleep sure was nice!! And on Friday, while Daddy & Princess A were at the movies, I gave myself a Reading. I think it really helped me put some things in perspective, gave me some great insights into my personal development at this time, and seemed to have a positive outlook for my future!! You can read it (and see the spread I used) here Tarot Spread - Leo ~ I Want ~

How's it going with Quitting Smoking you ask? Well, other than my drunken smoking binge on Sunday, I have done great!! It's officially day 16!! And while I still am struggling with some of the physical cravings, I feel like the habitual part is starting to fade away!! There are some times of day I struggle more than others, mostly at night, when I used to smoke the most, but for the most part I am doing great! When I have faltered and smoked, it has seemed like more of an indulgence than a habit or an addiction. But I am working on controlling that need for indulgence as well - or at least directing it elsewhere!!

Okay! On to the next week!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Tarot Spread - Leo ~ I Want ~

This spread is from "Illustrated Tarot Spreads, 78 New Layouts for Personal Discovery" by Heidemarie Pielmeier & Marcus Schiner. This book includes a tarot spread for each of the 12 astrological signs. I find that these spreads can be helpful for not only the people whose sign they reresent, but to be used for anyone for self discovery. Escpecially while the sun passes thru that sign!

~ I Want~

-5-_______ -6-

-1--2-___ -4-

  1. My Ego (How Domineering am I?)
  2. On what stage am I acting?
  3. My Inner Child
  4. Where do I stand in regard to love and romance?
  5. My love for Children
  6. Do I love risk and speculation?
  7. My Crown (How Generous am I?)

My Reading; 8/7/09 Using The Spiral Tarot by Kay Steventon. I bought this deck awhile back, but this is my first time using it in a reading. The part in quotes will be from the deck's guidebook.
1) My Ego - How Domineering am I? - 10 of Cups - "The forest fairy is sharing love, joy, and happiness. Meaning; Fulfillment on every level. Dreams come true - especially on an emotional level." I think this reflects that I am vey sharing and genrous, especially on an emotional level. t the same time, when it comes to my Ego, I know that if I am not being fulfilled emotionally or spiritually, I tend to move on.
2) On what stage am I acting? - 4 of Wands - "A bridal couple leaves the old life behind to start their new life together. Meaning; Optimism for the future, a change of residence, or changes in the domestic environment for the better." Wow, I would say that my lif is centered around my domsetic life. I have been really focused on changing my patterns at home and developing new habits (Cleaning, Decluttering, Quitting smoking) PLUS, we have been looking for a house. Although hubby and I have been married for 6 years, it will be like starting a new phase of our life together when we move into our new house!!
3) My Inner Child - 3 of Pentacles - "A ballerina is receiving accolades for her skills. Meaning - Success in return for persistent and dedicated labor. Prize or award." I have had such a sense ofaccomplishment latley; with the progress I have made in decluttering my home and my life, and how good I've been doing at quitting smoking.... I have been "as giddy as a school girl" - my inner child is feeling happy and acknwledged!
4) Where do I stand in regard to love and romance? 8 of Pentacles - "A smith is working at his craft; he is highly skilled and successful. Meaning - Profittable times are ahead, connected to material or personal matters. There is need for you to focus your talents or take your skills to the wider world." When it comes to my relationship, there isn't much time for "Romance" so to speak, but we both believe and know that a marriage takes work. We both try to balance the load of work and fun between us, and always try to make our needs known to the other. I feel like this card is telling me that soon our hard work and dedication will pay off and we will have more time for "Romance" (A House?!?!)
5) My love for children - King of Cups - "The king of cups is highly intuitie and passionate, at times secretive and withdrawn. In business he follows hunches and can be quite ruthless. Meaning; This king may indicate a time when you need to explore your passionate nature - or to hide you feelings in certain situations." My relationship with my children is often intense, and I can be very harsh with them when they constantly push my buttons! I love them so deeply, that their every action -good or bad - seems to be aimed directly at my heart! I think this is reminding me that I need to sometimes control my emotions and intensity around them; to master my passion and creativity.
6) Do I love risk and speculation? - The Hermit - "The Hermit, the Goddess Vesta, holds her lantern aloft to show us the way. Meaning - Self-Knowledge and Self-Sufficiency; being alone to experience what is meaningful and significant to you. Your inner guide." As a general rule - I don't like risk or speculation. When I don't know how things will turn out, or if I don't think a risk is worthwhile and has good chances of paying off, my worrisome Capricorn nature rears it's ugly head. Anxiety and fear have a strong say in the choices I make. But I have been learning - one babystep at a time - that it is only thru these risks and causes for speculation that I can inwardly grow. When I trust my guides and follow my intuition, risk isn't such a scary thing.
7) My Crown (How generous am I?) 2 of Wands - "A successful business man is looking to a future vision. Meaning - Success in partnership and business affairs. There is a sense of restlessness; moving on to new deals and plans is possible." I have leraned through a seriesof misakes, that being generous can sometimes backfire on you. I know, it sounds coldhearted, but I have (after MANY times of being screwed over) started to look at things from a business-like perspective. I will still help people and I am still generous, but I am careful that this will not hurt my personal life in any way. I can't give away my energy to psychic vampires anymore, I can't give money to someone who I know will never pay me back. Yet I still will give my change to a homeless person on the street corner, help a friend who is truly in need, etc. I've just leared to balance and think of myself, my goals, and my family at the same time. Maybe I've just finally - after years of fighting it- finally embraced this part of my Capricorn nature. And finally, now that I have cut a few psychic vampires out of my life and learned that it's O.K. to say No, "moving on to new deals and plans is possible."!!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Thursday's 13 - Princess A turns 6!

13 pictures, 6 years of "Princess A"
6 years ago; 7 lbs, 4oz, 21 inches long & Perfect in Every Way!
She had grown a lot by her first Christmas, 4 months old

By the age of 6 months, she had perfected the "Angelic Eyes" pose

Mud & Baby Butt Crack. I couldn't resist!! Age 1

"Here I am, now entertain me."

Even when she is just waking up, she still has a smile for me.
The Princess was still a tom-boy at age 3. And so vibrant!
I never noticed the red-plaid Christmas theme until just now. But, 4 months old or 4 years old, it looks good on her!

This picture really says it all!

She can be really shy and quiet at times.

Princess A's 5th Birthday (a year ago!)

"Mommy, take a picture of me eating my Easter Candy!"

Growing up is so much fun!
Happy Birthday, my Sunshine, my Princess, my little Leo!!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Anti-Procrastination Day

With the FlyLady cleaning & decluttering program, you have much more than just daily routines, you have daily and weekly themes as well!!

Wednesdays are "Anti-Procrastination Day", and whenever I finish the daily chores, it's time to pick a project or two that I have been putting off and get it done!! Whether it be a chore that I missed during the week, a trip to the store, phone calls or bill paying, or a decluttering or organizing project that always seems to get put off, today is the day I should try to get some of it done!

I LOVE how I feel when I get stuff done that I have been putting off! It makes me feel so.... LIBERATED!! It really takes a weight off my back, puts some skip in my step, and just makes me feel happy and proud! I can be a really bad procrastinator! (Enter my Personality Card; 0 The Fool) I often can get swept up in the moment, forget things, and then not get back to them later. Sometimes I get so exited about whatever adventure I'm currently on, that I neglect to take care of the details. Or I will feel like it's "too big a job", get overwhelmed and frustrated an not do it at all!!

So, I'm making a List (yes, I LOVE making lists, LOL!) of the possible projects I can undertake on Anti-Procrastination Day from now on, and hope that this blog will be here to remind me that getting this stuff done not only blesses my home & family, but gives me some inner peace!! As I get stuff done I'll even come back and edit this post to mark stuff off so I can see my progress!


  • Catch up on Zone Work; Decluttering, Missions, or Detailing for the week
  • Do any chores I might have missed thru the week
  • Work on my Control Journal
  • Pay Bills / Banking
  • work on my Budget
  • Pick up necessities at the store
  • Declutter Paper Work - Go thru the bag of papers & mail in the bedroom
  • Declutter the File Cabinet
  • Declutter / organize the "Junk Drawer" in my dresser
  • Go thru my clothes in the Dresser, organize, fling, etc.
  • Go thru my clothes in the Closet, organize, fling, etc.
  • Declutter / Clean under the bed
  • Declutter / Organize the Kid's Clothes (Dressers)
  • Organize the stuff in the hide-away under my Altar
  • Organize / declutter the small wire shelf in Bedroom
  • Organize the Closet (my side)
  • Organize the Closet (hubby's side)
  • Clean & Declutter bedside table (hubby's side of bed)
  • Paper Clutter & organizing the Computer Desk
  • Decluttering / Organizing the Patio
  • Wash Crayon off a wall (pick a wall - any wall!)
  • Empty e-mail (delete old e-mails
  • Empty Voice Mail (listen to & delete old e-mails
  • Make important phone calls

P.S. - For today's Anti-Procrastination Day, I finished my Zone Work for the week (Front Entrance/Dining Room), AND I went thru the Girl's Sock & Underwear drawers, which had become a huge mess - this involved getting rid of 16 pairs of old underwear, 40 old socks, and separating the girl's socks & panties into their own separate dressers! Whew! I feel so accomplished!

Wordless Wednesday - Hey Jupiter

Tori Amos - pics from the "Hey Jupiter" Single E.P.
"Hey Jupiter" Song Lyrics

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

And the award goes to.....

Me! LOL!
I was given this Blog award by "Little Ladybugs Boutique" - I was quite honored and thrilled at recieving my very first Blog Award (Blaward??) So THANKYOU Little Ladybugs! I would also like to thank....all my followers! It gives me great satisfaction to know that my thoughts are not just lost in space, they are first observed by my followers and then lost in cyber-space. See what a difference that makes??
But wait, there's more! In accepting this Award for "One Lovely Blog", I have been asked to, in turn, present this award to 10 more deserving "Lovely Blogs"! It is now my honor to present the following blogs with this award.....
1. College Mama Dorkiness - Your blogs make me smile. I love hearing about life of other moms, and I love Dorks. Because, well, I am one. (SSSHHhhhh, don't tell!)
2. Happy WAHM at In My Little World in OH - Another mom's inspirational blog. Feeling overwhelmed, in need of motivation? This is where to go. One look at this mom's busy life, positive attitude, and jam-packed daily schedules will either have you motivated or just happy that your life is a little bit slower.... :o)
3. Thorne's World - I love reading Thorne's blogs. They are informative, inspirational, and fun! Thorne helps remind me of why I'm on this path, and that spirituality can be found in the everyday world.
4. Willow Tree Tarot - Not just another Tarot blog :o) Great thoughts, ideas, and info here!
5. Laura Lynn Astrology - This author/astrologer/friend has a GREAT sense of humor!! I love to read aboutastrology, and Laura's humorous-yet-true descriptions has ad me ROTFL many times!
6. Earth Mother Astrology - This is a truly great blog for learning about Astrology; and how to apply this knowledge as a Mother! This as helped me learn the basics in delineating a chart, and what it all means!
7. Sloth womyn at ....snapshots of a spiral path - I have loved reading your thoughts, seeing your snapshots, and thinking deep thoughts with you.
8. Queen Mimi Pencilskit @ Mimi Writes - did you think I would forget you? Never, my queen!! Humor, wit, words, words words. oOh how I love what Mimi Writes!
9. Twilight Widowers Annonymous - A man who has become a "Widower" because of his wife's consuming Twilight Addiction.....This blog makes me laugh so hard!! Whether you love Twilight, hate it (God forbid!) or could care less, this blog will surely make you smile!
10. LotusMoonFlower at A Witch's Tale. Last, but not least. Girl, I love you! And since I can give this award to whoever I want, I give it to you! I love reading your opinions and rants; whether it be books, movies, life, or some idiot at the grocery store, I will always, always, read your blogs!
Please stop by and check out these wonderful blogs, who knows? You may find something you like!
To the Award Recipients; please leave a comment! Snag the award, post it on your blog, and then pass out up to 10 more awards to your favorite bloggers! Don't forget to link to them (and to me, if you would be so kind!)

Welcome to WBLOG TV - TarotMom's own TV network!

WBLOG TV: The Meme
The place where unbloggable news happens and sources are never a secret. You are the creator, producer, writer and news anchor of the WBLOG nightly news. It is your job to deliver the news in your own style from your own blog.
And oh, you get to make up the news! Here's your assignment:

1. The Weather Channel: Give me your personality forecast. Are you sunny, wet, windy, or cloudy? Why? Breezy with chances of windstorms. As I breeze around my house on my boom with my magic feather-duster, there may be chances of dust sorms, followed by sunny, bright, sparkly surfaces! Don't get in my way or make a mess, my 3-year old tornado is about as much as I can keep up with!

2. The News Channel: What is the breaking news story of the day in your world? I'm going on day 12 of quitting smoking!! With a few minor melt-downs here and there, I have managed to remain pretty strong!

3. The Economic Channel: How are things on the economic front? And more importantly, do you have ideas to save the planet from financial ruin? There's only 13 days left before school starts and I haven't even bought ANY school supplies yet! But I'm not worried - I've been putting aside between 10 and 20 dollars from every waitressing shift I had this past month, plus I've got a jar of change on my dresser! Not sure what this has added up to, but it' there! My advice? Even if all you can put aside is $10 a week, do it!! Don' worry about HOW you will pay that bill, but simply trust that you WILL be able to pay it! Staying positive about prosperity can make a HUGE difference in your life!!

4. The Entertainment Channel: Give us the latest blog celebrity gossip. Dish it!
LadyHightower was seen dancing under the almost-full moon last night. She tried to blame her madness on the Queen's challenging meme, but we know that she's just cool like that.

5. The Sports Channel: Make up a sport, give your team a name and choose five players from the list of names on the Mr. Linky list. What are the rules of the game? I'm not very sporty, and I'm drawing a blank. Since it's MY tv station, I'll cheat. The game is Quidditch. (Harry Potter) Jean-Luc Picard is the Seeker because I'm sure he' pretty good at flying! Mimi is the Keeper (keeping the other team from scoring) Bud Weiser and twistedsister are the Beaters because, well, their names sound tough! Bring your broomsticks to practice after Divination class!!

6. The Comedy Channel: How will you make us laugh today? Tell us a blunny (that's blog + funny for all you non-blog speakers) All my jokes are in poor taste or X rated. Since my comedy channel is on basic cable and not blocked from younger viewers, here is my 10 year old Daughter to tell her favorite joke;
"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he has no Guts!"

7. The Religious Channel: Make up a blog religion. Tell us why your blog church will save our souls. I would like viewers of ALL religions to stop in and get a Tarot reading. The cards are on-denominational, and I think that no matter what Religion you are, good advice and a little divination can be great medicine! If you've never had a reading, try it! Don't let fear, shame, or religious Dogmas scare you away! I don't want to ave your soul. Only YOU can save your soul! But sometimes the insights or advice from the cards can help guide you along the way!! oookkk, I'll get off my soap-box now.....

8. (but who's counting?) The Soap Opera Channel: What is the name of your soap opera?
Soap Operas are BANNED from my TV Stations and Networks. They are pure evil! You should be cleaning your house, reading a book, playing with your kids or pets, going outside, shopping, going to work, blogging, or getting a Tarot reading! Sheessh how many channels do you need???

Tuesday's Oracle ~ Laughter ~

Every Tuesday I will draw and share an Oracle card with you. Oracle cards are special in the way that most of them give direct and useful advice or inspiration. While I will share with you if there is any specific way that this card relates to ME each week, I have asked the Universe to give me a card that could be helpful to others as well. It is my hope that someone who reads this may be getting a very special message from the Divine!! It could be you! (Whether one or many, I hope the advice and message of this card will be helpful to you!) Please feel free to comment with your own thoughts or feelings, and come back next Tuesday for another Oracle!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This week I used the "Healing With The Fairies" Oracle Card by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D., and I drew the card "Laughter"

From the guidebook by Doreen Virtue;
"Every cloud not only has it's silver lining, but it also has a humorous side. Try to objectively stand back from your situations and find humorous twist. Laughter will help you see your life from a new perspective so that you can receive creative insights and solutions.
You are much too serious about life, according to the fairies. They aren't asking you to neglect your responsibilities, let go of the sacred reverence for life, or defend your emotions with jokes. Instead, you're asked to see the humor that runs through the thread of life. Like a brilliant comedy, our lives become more enjoyable when we can see them through the eyes of a humorist.

Laughter helps us to stand back and see ourselves and our situations more objectively. When we laugh, we relax. When we relax, creative solutions and renewed energy course through us more easily. So, take time today to laugh. For instance, go see that new funny movie or play, buy a book by your favorite comedy writer, or exchange silly jokes with a friend."

Affirmation; "I find the humor in life, and I laugh easily."

Personally, I know that I have a tendency to take life far too seriously. I can sometimes get so wrapped up in the daily grind, that I forget to take time to just let loose and really laugh. When is the last time you really Laughed Out Loud? No, not chuckled, not smiled, not typed "LOL" i your phone or computer, but really, outright, Laughed?? Fortunately for me, I was at a party with some friends and co-workers Sunday night and was really Laughing. It was great, and you would be surprised at how free and happy I have felt since then! Not only does laughter relax us, but it is also empowering and very liberating! Today when Mr. X was being silly, rather than getting annoyed, I played along and before I knew it we were both laughing so hard!! And laughter IS contagious; the girls were soon laughing right along with us!

I think this is why I enjoy "The Queen's Meme" so much every week; it gives me an excuse to be silly and let out my humorous side. No matter what, I think everyone should find a way t let their sense of humor roam free, and make it a weekly practice!

Here's wishing you a day or week full of laughter and humor!

Fairie Blessings!!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Hangover, Housekeeping, Temperance and Quan Yin

I was coming here to write about my day, and to post about my Daily Draw. On signing in I looked thru my list of blogs and read this blog about the goddess Quan Yin. So my focus has changed a little tonite, as my mind often does.

Last night (Sunday night) I went out to a party with some friends from work. I had a great time and it was a much needed time away from my apartment and my kids. I got pretty drunk, and in a way, I think needed that too! I did smoke cigarettes while I was drunk - my conviction to quit smoking seemed to melt away after my second Cranberry Juice and Watermelon Vodka. But it's not such a bad thing. Now I know where one of my weaknesses lies. And today, I was right back to being a non-smoker again. Easy-Peasy-Lemon-Squeeezy! WoooHooo for day 11!

Anyways, somehow even with my hangover, I managed to get the house back in shape again. At first, this morning I was rather miffed... I mean the house was a disaster! All it took was ONE DAY of me not being here picking up after everyone, and it was a total wreck! I'm gonna be talking to the hubby and kids about this one! But I pulled a tarot card for the day, and I got "Temperance". I thought about it for awhile, and realized that my standards and expectations are my own, and how can my family know what they are if I don't tell them? And in order to reach a fair compromise, I have to be compassionate and understanding. So rather than running around huffing and puffing and making my hangover worse, I calmly took my time cleaning up the mess, sending loving vibes in my thoughts to my husband every time I found myself feeling pissed off again. I still haven't talked to him about it yet, but I am trying to choose my words carefully so that he knows I come from a place of love not anger. I am a firm believer that "nagging" rarely solves anything and should be reserved for desperate times. At least, that's how it works in my marriage!! So I got myself thru the day with "Temperance" as my Mantra. A nice balance of anger and love gave me motivation, while a nice balance of working and resting gave me the power to get it all done. "Everything in Moderation" is a lesson of Temperance, and this also helped me to not feel guilty about drinking and smoking last night. Because I did smoke again does not mean I have failed at quitting smoking, and I cant judge myself (remember number 3 from my previous blog; Healing My Life part 1?) Lesson Learned, moving on.

So then I saw this blog about Quan Yin. I love these Goddess of the Week posts, they are really inspiring. This one really caught my attention. I think that we could all use a little Mercy and Compassion in our lives. It caught my attention because it seemed like this is what I learned from Temperance today. I wanted to be angry at my husband and kids for not having the same standards of cleanliness around the house as I do. But Quan Yin - she waits at the Gates of Nirvana for all of us. She could enter and enjoy this peace herself, but she waits, probably gaining more peace of mind just knowing that eventually we can all join this place together. I wasn't always concerned with blessing my family with a clean, organized, home. I came to this place myself, and I was helped along the way by friends. But if I hadn't begun to care about myself, to really love myself, I never would have started caring about my home. So my earlier thoughts were confirmed; rather than nag or bitch at my husband, I can tell him what would make me happy, and I can love him. I can continue to bless my home and my family, and wait for him to accept the love. It's the same with my children. Rather than focusing on teaching them how to clean their rooms and clear the table, the focus should be on learning how to love themselves, love their family, and love their home. The rest will fall into place.

Speaking of my kids, Miss Zee's "dad" has been calling again. She enjoys talking to him, but it drives me nuts. How long will it be before he stops calling her again? And then the questions will start again. I think after this many years, she is starting to cope with he disappointment. But that's just the thing. A 10 year old girl shouldn't have to know how to deal with disappointment and feelings of abandonment and rejection. There's this song by Celia called "Quan Yin"... last year at the Pagan Pride festival we heard this song performed live; we were right up front and Celia kept looking me and my daughter in the eyes while she sang. The lyrics hit home, and I was holding Miss Zee in my arms and tears were streaming down my cheeks. always think of Quan Yin not only as the Goddess of Compassion, but the defender of innocents.

Song Lyrics to the song "Quan Yin" by Celia. I love this song, it makes me cry. It's about a woman who has a daughter, and the father has been in jail. She moved on, has a new husband, and has raised her daughter, when suddenly the "father" is out of jail and wants to come back into her life; and into the child's life. The mother is full of fear and anger and resentment towards this man, the system etc. She calls upon Quan Yin to give her strength, courage, compassion, and Peace Within. She prays that she will be able to teach her daughter to strive for these things as well.

May you all have a week blessed by Quan Yin and sprinkled with Temperance! Blessed Be!! (the Goddess of the Week blog)