Last night we went to look at a potential house. Our realtor has been putting in offers left and right, and we are just hoping to not be outbid. We haven't gone to see every single house she has put an offer on - why get our hopes up? Instead we are waiting till an offer is accepted, then going to look at the house and see if we will take it or not. It's really exciting to hear that an offer has been accepted; we take the 40 minute drive thinking, praying, maybe this is the one! Alas, once again, a disappointment. It is rather small, two of the "Four" bedrooms are a combined room with a divider between them - you can hardly really call it one bedroom - much less two. The "Fourth Bedroom" is totally detached from the house, like they turned the storage shed into another room; this is not going to work for our young family of five! So we turned it down and drove back to our apartment.
For the most part, I am staying positive. I am just trying to trust that the right house for us will turn up, trusting that there is a divine plan and purpose behind everything. I'm not feeling super-motivated today, but I'm not feeling apathetic or "down" either. I'm just here, wondering how to go about my day. So I decided to draw a card.
Since I was already at my computer, I just went to Aeclectic Tarot to use their free electronic tarot reading section. While I don't always trust the electronic readings (there is something lost when you count only on card meanings and leave out the empathy and intuitiveness of an actual reader) - I have still found these electronic readings to be quite helpful from time to time.
Today I got the Two of Swords;
While the classic meaning of this card sometimes relates to some internal mental struggle, opposing views, conflicts, etc, I found the meanings given here to be more aligned to what I am feeling. Peace. Huh. That's interesting....yes. I DO feel at Peace. Strange. Just like on the card (shown at the above link) - I know that there my be struggles and challenges ahead. I will eventually have to draw a sword, cut thru the vines, and begin my trek across the mountains. But as for today - Stillness. Quiet. Peace. I know, in Truth, that our search for a house will continue... I feel that it may take longer than what we had hoped for, but it will be worth the wait. There is no need to bog myself down with worries about it at this time. But prepare myself.
With the classic version of this card, a woman is blindfolded and holding two swords crossed in front of her. She is armed and ready, but she is blindfolded. Does she know and trust that there is no immediate danger? Or are her other senses so acute, like a ninja or Kung-fu Master, that she does not need her eyes to know when it is time to act. Now that's stillness of mind. Check out the classic meaning of this card; http://www.learntarot.com/s2.htm. More specifically, just the first section of the list - denying true feelings, stifling a natural response, keeping another at arm's length, hiding distress, turning a deaf ear, being defensive, maintaining your cool. Now who does this make you think of?
I am also reminded of this conversation about meditation between a man and Kwai Chang Caine (David Carradine) in the t.v. series "Kung Fu";
KCC: (He is shooting a bow and arrow at a target, in the black of the night). I do not do archery for killing.
Man: What do you use it as?
KCC: A form of meditation.
Man: Meditation? What do you think about?
KCC: I think of nothing. But to be one with the target.
Man: You think I’m going to believe that? How can you see what you are shootin at in the dark?
KCC: Watch my eyes (He turns his eyes away before he shoots, and hits the target).
Man: How’d you do that?
KCC: I do not do it. It is not done.
Man: What do you mean ‘It’s not done?’
KCC: It is only experienced. It happens.
KCC: The pole (target), the arrow, the bow are one. Not many things. Not different things. One.
Man: Well, I see it. But I sure don’t understand it.
KCC: That is good.
Man: Why is it good?
KCC: It remains a puzzle. When you cease to strive to understand, then you will know without understanding.
So, Finding this peace and stillness of mind, this detachment from emotion in order to function efficiently and logically - it's not such a bad thing. I tend to think of "Emotional Detachment" as a negative thing - but in some cases, those emotions just turn into fears, and fears just hold you back. So, lastly, decided to pull out my trust Housewives Tarot, to see how I can apply this to my housewifely duties today around the house.
The Guidebook (by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum, Quirk publications) has this to say;
"Like Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws, life can be full of conflicts. As the blindfolded woman illustrates, it is important to remain impartial when stalemates occur. The Two of Swords reminds us that it is seemingly opposing tastes - like cranberry sauce and green bean casserole - that make life more delicious. After all, if no one wanted the dark meat, there wouldn't be enough light meat to go around."
Our housewife is getting ready to carve the turkey - blindfolded. She is trusting that it is cooked to perfection, and arming herself for the critique she knows will come from those in laws - whether it is cooked perfectly or not. In true Kung-Fu style, she knows that you can't please everyone; the only person you can truly look out for is yourself. And blindfolded, she can experience the carving of the turkey, trusting that it will happen as it is meant to happen.