Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Zadkiel, Sandalphon & Raphael

Angel Reading 6/30/09
"Archangel Oracle Cards" by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

For today's Daily Draw I decided to use my Archangel Oracle Card deck.

Archangel Zadkiel; Clairaudience
Archangel Sandalphon; Gentleness
Archangel Raphael; Healthy Lifestyle

Card 1; The Origins of my situation - Clairaudience
I have definatley come a long way in learning to listen. I have had to struggle to be able to accept guidance and advice from others, and most of all I have struggled to listen to my inner voice, and my spirit guides or angels. I think this card is reminding me to listen to all of those things; to listen with my heart, and truly hear the messages within me and around me. I also feel that Zadkiel is asking me to listen to my children, for I can learn more about my parenting and their needs if I truly listen to them, even in play. Zadkiel says; "Notice the loving guidance you hear inside your mind, and from other people. You're hearing true Divine guidance very clearly. It comes in the form of repetitious messages, urging you to improve a situation for yourself or others."

Card 2; The Truth of my situation - Gentleness
I have been craving gentleness. I want my home life to be laid back, happy, and loving, but too often it is loud, chaotic, and crazy. I mean, what can I do? I have three kids, it's summer vacation, and we're stuck at home all day with no car. Sandalphon is reminding me that Gentleness and Peace have to start with me. My actions and reactions will set the tone. And most of all, I should be gentle with myself. I am guilty of being much too hard on myself as a mom; judging myself far more harshly than others would. Sandalphon says; "Be very gentle with yourself at this time. Surround yourself with gentle people, situations, and environments. Listen to gentle music, talk quietly, and engage in slow, rythmic movements such as yoga or swaying to music. Don't engage in battles at this time. Instead, retreat from conflict while you revive your spirit and become even stronger. You'll know exactly what to do when you emerge from your gentle retreat."

Card 3; The Highest Goal of my situation - Healthy Lifestyle
I go back and forth between trying to eat and live a healthier way, and not seeming to care about my health at all. I think that Raphael is reminding me that if I listen to my inner guidance and am willing to accept help or advice from others, and if I am gentle with myself, it will be easier for me to have a Healthy Lifestyle. In the meantime, I need to make sure I get enough sleep, drink more water, and eat properly. I know this will make a huge difference in my life; I just need to commit myself to it; without being harsh on myself but just giving gentle guidance. Archangel Raphael says; "Eat a healthful diet, get adequate sleep, and excersize
regularly for optimal health. You are co-creating your health by following your inner guidance about lifestyle habits. I give you inner nudges to improve the way you eat, or to excersize or rest more often. When you take excellent care of your body, your outlook and self esteem naturally blossom

My Prayer;
" I ask the angels, my spirit guides, and The God and Goddess to guide me in listening to my heart and hearing the messages you have for me. I trust in my clairaudience and know that what I hear is true Divine Guidance. I ask for your help in showing a true spirit of Gentleness to my family and myself. Peace starts with me; in my actions and reactions. With guidance and gentlesness of spirit, I am ready and willing to make changes in my life that will benefit my health. I deserve good health and I have the self discipline and self love to make choices that will empower me towards a Healthy Lifestyle! In Love and Light I accept these blessings and messages in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust."

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Proposal

Saturday night I went and saw "The Proposal" with Sandra Bullock. We were wanting to see "The Hangover", but it was sold out. The Theater was packed with people going to see the new Transformers movie, which was playing on 4 or 5 screens. So we opted for the romantic comedy which was starting in 10 minutes.

I have to say, it was pretty funny. Not "Super Troopers" funny, and definatley not "SuperBad" funny.... but I was laughing. Sandra Bullock always does so good in her movies. I still love "Miss Congeniality". In this movie she plays a rather coldhearted business woman, I mean she tries to feed a puppy to an Eagle in an attempt to get her cell phone back. But of course, like all puppy-hating business women, we eventually see her soft side. Betty White is in this movie, which, in my opinion, made it even better. I love Betty White!! I am now in the mood to watch some old reruns of The Golden Girls.

Oh, and when you go to the movies you always get to see some cool previews. I saw a preview for a movie called "Surrogates" with Bruce Willis and I think it looks really cool!! Look it up, if you haven't seen the trailer - it looks like a really fun sci-fi/action flick.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Epiphany of The Hanged Man (or Woman)

my epiphany...

I've had a busy weekend. I worked Friday night and Saturday morning, then Saturday nite I went to see a movie with a friend and then back to work again today. (Sunday) I'm suprisingly awake and chipper although I only had 5 hours of sleep last night. I stayed up late talking on the phone with a close friend. It was one of those long conversations that covers many topics, and doesn't seem to have an ending. I had to force myself to say goodbye around 1:30 am. This was the beginning of my epiphany.
There has been something rattling around in the back of my consciousness for quite some time, especially after my long phone call last night. It has been more present in my thoughts today, and I'm feeling a little turned around because of it. We were talking about my daughter's ADHD, and depression in general, and my friend was telling me about her own diagnosis as Bi-Polar. Myself, I've been in and out of Dr.s' offices to occasionally get help for my depression, but never seem to have insurance long enough to really get a solid diagnosis. I've resisted the labels as long as I could; Borderline Personality, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, general Clinical Depression, Post-Partum Depression. But there was always one label that kept popping back into my head. Bi-Polar Disorder. Too many of the textbook symptoms seem to fit. And thanks to journaling, I have noticed a clear and undeniable pattern of cycles. Some things that my friend said to me really seemed to bring it all home and hit the nail on the head. I finally began to admit to myself that I may be BiPolar. Of course, I will leave it to the professionals to officially diagnose me as they will.... when I get to the point of being able to go to someone.... if and when I decide I need to do that. This is what has been rattling in my head all day; you understand the resulting feeling of being a bit turned around today.

Finally at home, I am wondering what to Blog about today. I decide I'll pull a card from my trust Housewives Tarot deck (by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum) to do my Daily Draw. Just wanting to do a general reading, I don't really focus on a specific question, but simply ask the Housewives to show me something that I need to see.

The Hanged Man
"* Epiphany * Hardship * A Turning Point *

"You've had an epiphany and finally see things as they really are. Whether its your backstabbing girlfriend, your new washer/dryer set that isn't working, or a womanizing no-goodnick husband, it's time to hang your problems out to dry. This may seem like a hard thing to do, but you must. Enough is enough!! Keep in mind that this sacrifice and time of hardshp is necessary to make way for future happiness." (~ from the guidebook for The Houswives Tarot by P. Kepple and J. Buffum.)

Talk about In-Your-Face! I had to laugh. "Okay, okay, I GET IT.!!" Somehow I feel better. I feel peaceful and accepting. But also a little nervous. The classic version of this card from the Rider-Waite deck (also pictured above) tells me that sometimes we have to be forced into an uncomfortable situation in order to change our perspective and therefore reach enlightenment. It refers to the sacrifice of personal comforts in order to better understand ourselves. Latley I have been going thru one of my super-motivated, inspired, creative, happy stages. I don't want it to end. It shouldn't. But if and when it does, it will only confirm my suspicions. I only hope that I will find the courage to reach out, and admit it if I need help.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Weekly Housewife's Report 6/26/09

Before and After Pics of my bedroom cleaning;

Okay, yes, I'm a dork. Because I'm so excited about my clean house! Can you blame me? I've been living in clutter for so long that when I take these steps, I want to show the world!! So, for my own bragging rights, and to keep me on task, each Friday I will write a weekly cleaning report and let you know how it's going. Because I can!! Perhaps you will be motivated too. Or not. But you can give me a pat on the back if you want.

This week:
I am really FLYing with the FlyLady program, with the help of my "Motivated Mommas" at CafeMom. I revamped my control journal and now have a binder with my routines and motivational stuff right by my computer. I also posted my daily routines here on my blog.

Each Day this week I have done my Daily Routines and kept my house clean, the dishes done, and the sink shining!!! I have done laundry every day and put it all away, and today I even ironed all my work shirts!! This morning's temptation to be lazy has been overcome, and I feel soo accomplished!!
This week's "Zone" has been the Master Bedroom; I have been decluttering a little each day - my computer desk is clean, the floor is picked up, the laundry is sorted, and one of the bookshelves is back in order again. I even finished it off with smudging with sage and clearing the energy with a bell and some prayer. It feels and looks soooo awesome in here!! (As you can see from the pictures above) I know I can keep it this way if I stick with my daily and weekly routines!!!

XV The Devil

My Daily Draw for 6/26/09

The Devil

using The Housewives Tarot by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum

Ahh, yes.... temptation. As I sit here, not yet dressed, beds un-made, kids not yet dressed, and my FlyLady Control Journal not even opened yet today, I know exactly the kind of temptation that this card seems to be warning me about today. Actually, everything depicted on the card looks rather tempting..... Martini..... Coffeee..... Caaaaake.....Smokes...... Boxed Dinners .............and yes, even the bottle of Valium. After dealing the recent behavoal issues of my 10 year old with ADHD; yes - the Valium!!!

But I digress. Is this card a prediction, or a warning? Will I be able to motivate myself, do my morning routines, my daily cleaning, and go to work in the evening with a smile? Or will I resign myself to this fate and have a day of coffee, smoking, and avoiding my housework? As I was shuffling the cards before I drew today's card, I was asking; "What energy do I need to be aware of today?" So, although a day in bed sounds really, really nice about now, I think I will heed this card as advice rather than prediction. (But in the end, we shall see.....) Let's see what the guidebook has to say....


The modern convenience of TV dinners, instant coffee, and processed cheese in a can. The sinful satisfaction of martinis, cigarettes, and devil's food cake with rich, creamy frosting. Oh, how the Devil inside us loves seemingly smple solutions and indulgent luxuries!! It's not good to repress thesetemptations entirely, but take great care not to let such vices rule your life. Succumbing to your dark side too often will surely bring about your downfall."

I'm gonna have to call upon Flyady's wisdom and encouragement if I want to get ANYthing done around here today, and I'm gonna have to remember this affirmation;

"From darkness and chaos I create opportunities to transcend limitations."

(from Mary K. Greer's "Tarot For Yourself", that is the suggested affirmation for this card.)

Of course, I also have to call upon the traditional meanings of this card; and remember not to get too wrapped up in things, and remember that I am not a slave, or bound to this life, but I am here because I choose it. The Devil simply reminds us to remember that life is all about choices; the choices we make get us where we are, and every choice has a consequence. Will I choose to indulge? Or will I choose to make the most of this day???

I'm gonna do my best to make the most of it, but first, my friend is coming over for coffee. Cofffffeeeeeeeeeee...................

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Celebrity Deaths

Well, it is said that deaths usually happen in 3's . This week we have had three major celebrity deaths, shocking the airwaves and cluttering up the Twitter and FaceBook world. First there was Ed McMahon - many of us grew up with him on tv, and hoped that someday he would come knock on our door with a huge check for a million dollars. His presence in TV land will be missed. Then, this morning we found out about Farrah Fawcet. Amazing actress and sex symbol of the 70's and 80's. She will not only be remembered for her amazing hair, but for her strength and positivity during her struggle with cancer. Then there is Michael Jackson who died of a heart attack this afternoon at the age of 50. His music influenced a whole generation, and although his life was controversial and strange, he should be remembered as a revolutionary pop-artist and musician, and let's not forget his dance skillz!!
I know that not everyone is a fan of Michael and his music, especially in lieu of all his escapades and shennanigans that have been aired over the media in the past. His strange mansion full of exotic animals, his strange appearance and behavior, and the allegations against him as a pedophile. You certainly didn't catch me praising him over the past few years, and I definatley had my opinions about him as well. But something caught my attenton today. During the buzz about his death, people are still trash-talking!! Seriously, what is wrong with you people? I am not saying we should forgive him of all his transgressions, but let it go!! The man is dead, he died tragically and suddenly at the young age of 50!! Let's celebrate the good memories that we have, the good music that we have, and let him Rest In Peace!! His family is grieving, and I have heard people say; "Well, he got what was coming to him", and "Was it drugs?" and "He was an evil man, I hope he died in a humiliating way, like on the toilet." (yes, I really heard someone say that.) I mean, would you say that if it was a family member, even if that family member was a horrible person? No, you would try to find something nice to say in their memory. Just because someone is a celebrity and has had their life aired out for all to see does not mean that they "deserved to die" any more than the next person, and it certainly doesn't mean that they deserve any less respect in death. When you say "R.I.P." on your facebook page, do you mean it? Can you actually let them Rest In Peace and resist the urge to spit on thier grave?

Gaia, Tarot, and Me (XXI The World)

(reposted from my blog at Witchschool.com)

Gaia, Tarot, and Me (XXI The World)

Of all my years of being a Pagan and Wiccan, I have never fully aligned myself with any certain Pantheon or Archetype when it comes to Gods and Goddesses. I have usually felt most comfortable just calling upon the Great Lord and Lady along with the Elements and Watchtowers to guide me. I am ecclectic and therefore find myself drawing from different archetypes depending on my needs or feelings at the time; and most often the goddesses I call upon are those whom represent mothering aspects, such as Gaia, Demeter, Brigid, and Diana. I have always been most comfortable with any aspect of Goddess that is aligned with the cycles of the Moon and the Earth and seasons, and motherhood, probably because I am a mother myself; it is such a main part of who I am!!

Off and on I will decide to do some further research on Gaia - the Mythology behind this ultimate Earth Goddess is fascinating to me; and when I joined the school as a basic member my enthusiasm for this particular Goddess was re-awakened when I found the course; Goddess Studies; Gaia. So once again I study this Goddess; this time in a structured "Class" environment. I am hoping that this class wll help me more clearly understand my connection and calling to Gaia, and help me understand her more fully.I have always been obsessed with Tarot cards. It is the one area of study that I never really put down; while my other interests are fleeting and I will go thru phases of learning, Tarot is always there, it is a part of me. So when I want to learn something new, I find it easier to look at it thru the eyes of Tarot cards and readings. When I started learning about astrology, I found it easier if I knew the tarot correspondences to certain signs and planets, as I could then apply them to a field wich I understood personally. So today I was thinking; what Tarot Card would be associated with Gaia? At first I thought maybe The Empress; the ultimate Mother. In most decks she appears as pregnant and full of life; and image I can easily associate with Gaia. But this correspondence seemed incomplete. After some searching and cross-referencing, I found what I was looking for. DUH!! Gaia is realted to card 21; The World!

I had an epiphony. So many thoughts and feelings came rushing over me, as I said my relationship with Tarot cards is very personal and just understanding Gaia in relation to this card has opened my eyes. The RWS deck depicts a figure surrounded by the Elements and directions, and I have always felt most comfortable invoking the Elements for guidance. The meanings of the card include fulfillment, working together, integrating different parts of yourself or a group to accomplish goals, experiencing or finding balance, and being connected to earth, others, the world, and spirit. The World is also related to Capricorn/Saturn, and I am a Capricorn; so my relationship to this card is inherently personal. I suddenly understood why I have been drawn to Gaia, I feel like this is confirmation that she has been calling to me! In the mythological tales of Gaia, her life was not easy; she was tested many times. She swallowed her own children, the Titans, in order to protect them, although it was painful to hold these giants within herself. Saturn is the planet associated with the Tarot card The World, and Saturn is a planet of testing and karma. Astrologically speaking, the tests brought upon us by Saturn are the ones that make us stronger, the lessons we learn under Saturn's influence are lessons we carry with us our whole lives, and possibly on to the next life as well. As a Capricorn, my planetary ruler is Saturn, and my life has been a seriesof lessons and challenges. Looking at Gaia in a realtionship to The World, Saturn, and Capricorn, I can see myself in Her, and Her in me, and I can no longer question my alignment to this Goddess.Along the way while I was doing my research, I found something that mentioned that one of the symbols for Gaia is a snake or serpent. Once again, I recieved confirmation that Gaia has been calling me!! I have always loved snakes, have had a few for pets over the years. I have a tattoo of a snake around my upper right arm. It is there to remind me that I was able to "shed the skin" so to speak, on my past mistakes and start a new. I have had my dark days with abuse, depression, and addiction, but I was able to walk away from that life and start again. I was able to create life out of Chaos. Gaia was born or "formed" of Chaos, and she created life and happiness; built upon the stability and structure of her own being.

XXI The World - Tarot Meanings
Gaia - some info & correspondences
Classes at Witchschool.com

a response to Gingrich and Huckabee

Newt Gingrich; "America is surrounded by Paganism"?

Here's a response that I wanted to share. Rev. Don of Witchschool.com makes a good point about what "Paganism" Gingrich and Huckabee seem to be afraid of, and why this type of fear and ignorance is truly the worst form of terrorism.

The Fool

My Housewives' Daily Draw - The Fool
(The Housewives Tarot by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum)

This card shows our lovely young housewife running out of the house, all dressed up, but she is dropping (or flinging) things out of her pocketbook as she goes. A little less than organized, but she's got motivation and zest!
I totally feel like this is me lately, (in in fact, 0 The Fool is my personality card based on the numerology of my birthday... LOL!) I do have the motivation, and I do have the energy, but in the application of my goals I am falling apart at the seams. But I haven't lost hope, and this card is reminding me to just keep on going!! Even though I may not have the kinks worked out - I am on the right track! And maybe, just maybe, I don't need those things that are falling out of my purse. As I begin this new journey (of being organized) I will have to let go of that extra baggage and simplify my life!! And you know, they say "If at first you don't succeed, Try, Try again!" Well I have tried to get organized and find that domestic mommy/housewife within myself a few times, stumbled, and fallen down. And this time may be no different, but then again, this time may really be the time I find my niche!!
This card comes up often for me; and it's true, I'm often starting new projects or goals. Like this blog, once again something new that I'm running into, having no clue what I am doing. But it feels right, so off I go!! One of my challenges in life is "finishing things"; I'm great at planning and starting, but eventually I get bored and end up starting something else without finishing the first. ADHD? Laziness? Or simply the manifestation of this card, The Fool?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

my FlyLady Control Journal - Daily

Okay, I'm a Capricorn, but no, I wasn't born organized. Actually I'm quite domestically disabled. So after years of living in C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) I am trying to pull myself together, get decluttered, and find a system that works for me. I found FlyLady.net a couple years ago, and I love it!! It's a motivational system where you build routines to keep up with the Daily Cleaning, and work on decluttering as you go. I also found a group on CafeMom - Fluttering Flybabies, which helps keep me motivated and stay on track with my routines; or get back on track when I fall off.
FlyLady suggests that you make a "Control Journal"; a book where you keep track of your routines, among other things, to keep you motivated. I've been working on re-vamping my routines and making my new Control Journal, and thought I'd share it with you. Also, if I have it online or on my computer, I can easily access it and see what I should be doing rather than chatting or blogging. So this is the first 3 pages of my Control Journal, the section which holds my daily routines. Some terms may be unknown to those who aren't familiar with FlyLady... such as "Hot Spots"... check out the website if you're curious! It may look like a lot, but if I keep moving and stick with it, I can have all this main stuff done and out of the way by lunch time, leaving the rest of my day for whatever I want. I have learned that it's when I don't do these things daily, the mess and clutter gets out of control, and unorganized Capricorn though I am, I simply don't like it when things are out of control!!

Events / Plans;
Room of the Day;
Zone of the Week;
Mission of the Day;
Habit of the Month;

Morning Routine
Get Dressed To Shoes
Make Bed (Master Bedroom)
Feed The Cat
Take Vitamins / Drink Water
Brush Teeth and Hair
Swish and Swipe Bathroom
Check Hot Spots
Check Calendar / Schedule / Control Journal
What's For Dinner? (plan ahead)

School Days - Getting the kids ready;
Make sure the kids are dressedto shoes
Help kids brush teeth and Hair
Check thier backpacks
out the door @ 8:30 am (Walking to school)

Daily Home Blessings
Clean up from Breakfast
Hot Spots - Livingroom & Kitchen
Hot Spots - Bathoom & Master Bedroom
Unload Dishwasher / Reload
Wipe Table & Countertops
Shine Kitchen Sink
5 minute Room Rescues (15 minutes total)
* Livingroom
* Master Bedroom
* Kid's Room
Sweep Kitchen Floor
Take Out Trash
Clean up from Lunch

Laundry - Try to do one load a day!
* Sort
* Wash / Dry
* Fold & Put away

Zone Cleaning
* Zone Mission of the Day
* 15 minutes Decluttering Zone

Daily Project / Theme
* Each Day of the week has a different Theme for cleaning, and each day I have a different room of the house that I give a little extra attention to cleaning * see comments below for Daily Themes*

Evening Routine
Wash Dishes / Run Dishwasher
Wipe Table & Countertops
Sweep Kitchen Floor
Shine The Sink
5 minute room rescue livingroom
Put Out Clothes for tomorrow
Check / Set Alarm Clock
Shower / Brush Teeth & Hair
Yoga / Meditation

Look ---> I've got a Blog!

I wanted a place where I can write my random thoughts and experiences, of all the random thoughts and experiences that I have. I'm all over the place when it comes to the internet. There's my Tarot website and Blog, but that is reserved for Tarot-ish talk. I'm really over MySpace. I mean, that is just so 90's, LOL!! I still use it for finding good bands and listening to music, but to tell the truth, I hardly log onto my MySpace at all anymore. I've got my FaceBook - but I don't feel like I can be totally open or "me" there, due to certain family and friends I have on my feed. (Don't judge me; yes I'm a semi-closeted witch, but I'm sure we'll get into the family thing eventually here) Then I have my alternate FaceBook - which I use for my Tarot Reading website / persona. While I am more open there about my beliefs, under my mask of anonymity, I doubt that those certain friends and clients would like to hear about my mundane and sometimes T.M.I. rants on parenting and housewife-ing. Then I've got my CafeMom - OMGs I LOVE CafeMom!! The perfect place for talking about the kids, getting or giving advice on parenting, and reading all about other mom's Baby-Mama-Drama. And while I'm quite addicted to and quite happy journaling away on CafeMom, I somehow still felt I needed my own space to be me.

I love to write, I think that sometimes I have something important to say. Sometimes what I say is unimportant but needs to be heard - or read, anyways.

So Here I am. What shall I talk about first?