Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Meaning of Thyme and Other Deep Questions

I am late with posting today's Meme. I hope that Queen Mimi will be understanding, and hope that she hasn't already sentenced me to time in the dungeon. She should understand, I had two little princesses and one little prince demand that I take them swimming today. And then I had to go grocery shopping. And then I had to watch Hell's Kitchen. Watching Chef Ramsey yell at people is a highlight in my life, and actually helped me get my mind in the kitchen for this week's meme.....
1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do?
I'd sell that shit for about a hundred dollars a bottle. Thyme is Money, and I think people would pay. Hey, someone has to support my lavish lifestyle.
2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?
In my kitchen they have been known to jump from the refrigerator to the floor in a suicidal frenzy. It's a better fate than being burned in a pan at an unholy early hour in the morning.
3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?

It made a comment about my pork loins. Stupid butter, you don't even have thighs, and thought you would be smart and comment about mine? I'll show you....

4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?

Great. I already stopped using forks because of what I found them doing in the drawer last week. Now I have to question my spoons as well? I never realized my kitchen was home to such debauchery! Thankfully, I only have one wooden spoon, and she has pledged herself to godliness. No splinters here!

5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open.Why did you close them?

The windows were open to let out the smoke, silly! If you think it has cleared enough in here to breathe comfortably and not sting the eyes, tn feel free to close the windows, I would rather the neighbors not hear the silence that occurs when I ask my lover if he likes his meal.

6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?

I'm more of a recipe gal. My husband wears the chef pants in this house. My meal would be called "Rump Roast" because I might have manged to cook it, but having drank the whole gallon of Chardonnay, I have neglected to season it or prepare any side dishes. Who cares I'm not going to be eating anything tonite anyways, here's some cash so you can drive yourself to McDonalds. I didn't use the banana, because I am allergic.

7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them.What did they say to get in hot water?

Those nasty dishes must have blabbed about what they saw me do while I was cooking. Oh well I'll have to wash them myself anyways. Have you ever heard the saying that your life is only as messy as the messiest room in your house? I can't leave something as important as my life to be cleaned up by some easily offended dishwashers! As you can see, my inner life is in sparkling good order, thank you!

(<--Housewives Tarot by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum)

8. Is your pot black?

Yes, but I never thought about it before. Should I be giving it special treatment? Do you think I have offended it by keeping it away from the stainless steel pans? I didn't mean to segregate, but everything has it's place....

9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so?

Cumin, of course. Yes, dear, I know that it's supposed to be pronounced "Kyoo-Min", but it sounds so much better when you pronounce it "Cum-in", just like it's spelled. And you can't have Fajitas without Cumin. What's more sexy that "Fah-Jite-Ahhhs"?

10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?

Its about 50% Crock and 50% Pot. Really, no one would eat my food if they didn't have the munchies first. Legalize marijuana already!

Thank you for playing the Queen's Meme this week.


  1. LOL at 4 and 5. Those are excellent And the Cumin...too funny. Thanks for stopping by my playground. I appreciate it. Aloha :)

  2. Tee hee - LOVE the pics too! They fit it perfectly. (I never think to put pics in mine. I am a tad wordy, I feel.)

    And yey for being on the same cumin wavelength! LOL

    Btw, I'm a woo-woo chick so I will definitely be back to check out your blog again. Seems we share some similarities! :-)

  3. LOL!!! Oh how I love your blogs....they just make my day!

  4. Thanks for tropping in. Is there still pot segregation where you are. I'm surprised the race people haven't been on to you.

  5. I love reading your blogs always crack me up. Have a great day..