Monday, July 20, 2009

The Queen's Meme, Week 2 ~ Mission Impossible ~

I shall attempt to complete "Mission Impossible", As commanded by Mimi Pencilskirt, Queen of the Memes, Most fair and wise Meme Queen of them all;

1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?
I forgot my clean underwear. It won't take much to convince them to take me home to get it, seeing as I lost control of my bladder during take-off. Don't judge me - there's a lot of confusing sensations during takeoff.

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something).They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you.
What is the first thing you would write on the board?
Nothing. I am too busy trying to smash an invisible spider on my desk with my eraser. Chasing around an invisible spider is a good way to get people's attention.

3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile?How would you handle it?
I would probably read it for a few days to see how bad it really is. If I am 100% sure that it is being written by a friend or family member, I would be seriously offended and crushed. I would probably stop talking to them and distance myself, allowing my pain to turn into anger before mustering up the courage to confront them. And with me, there are no second chances. I will speak my mind and then say Good-Bye. They're out of my life; end of story.

4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
One Dollar? Can you still buy something with One Dollar? I would probably spend it on a fountain drink at the Gas Station, and hope to get a free refill later when this guy who has a crush on me is working behind the counter. :o)

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?
Screw that, they better be bringing some food too. I guess I'd serve up some good american Barbeque, cooked by my amazing Chef husband. But the Obamas better at least bring their own beer.

6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?
Raise an eyebrow, tell him that he is never going to fit into that, so please don't stretch it out, rip it or ruin it, and walk back out of the room. Quickly.

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.
Number 3. Because what good is perfect health, eternal youth, sexual vigor, or unlimited hedonsim without Peace of Mind? Although I don't know if I want my Nirvana to be mind-numbing. Can I please have just half a dose and get the Peace of Mind and Nirvana without it numbing all my senses?


  1. The spider thing: I thought I was the only one. I find it also works with clowns. You're hilarious, and this was so much fun to read. Have an awesome day

  2. Wow! The spider thing is good, really good! I taught in such a school and never thought of the spider! And I did quit! Life just isn't meant to be lived that way!

  3. The spider is genuis.

    #6 made me laugh out loud. You are most certainly not in the dungeon.

    The commandment you wrote last week has been placed in The Royal Blible.

  4. I very much liked your responses. They are well rounded to say the least. For the most part that is.